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I know I've posted it elsewhere, but I had to post it here as well to spread the word.

NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER buy an ASUS-brand computer! Not unless, of course, you gleefully enjoy flushing $800-$900 down the toilet. If you enjoy such money flushing, then be my guest.

But most people I know are somewhat like me, and don't have money to throw down the crapper.

Some history:

I've had this computer for less than a year. I had to exchange it once within the first month due to motherboard and build issues (the plugs didn't line up in the back, they were bent - and it wouldn't recover from sleep mode.) Then, a few months later, I have to ship it off to California at MY expense (which is another $100+). And now, a few months later, it's died AGAIN.

I'm not pumping more money into this thing just because it's a "brand new" computer. It was born a piece of crap, and I'm going to have to let it die. And it's not an isolated incident ,as this is my second computer of the exact same type (See Also: My exchange mentioned in the previous paragraph.)

Even though ASUS allegedly has good motherboards, the motherboard is exactly what is failing this cheap piece of crap. Best Buy checked it out the last time it acted up like this, and confirmed it was the motherboard. Naturally, when I paid $100+ to ship it to them, all they did was reinstall the BIOS and slap a "fixed!" sticker on it. They may as well have used duct tape.

I really don't have the money to spend on this, so I'll have to put myself into debt with my credit card. But eh... at least I have good enough credit for that. I just wish my job's future weren't so uncertain...

But yeah - never ever ever let anyone you know buy an ASUS-brand computer. Anything else. ANYTHING ELSE. All else mentioned, their customer service skills were extremely bad over the phone, and they conveniently bar anyone else other than them from working on their computers. Once you, or anyone you know breaks the seal, the warranty is null and void. And that's just how they want it.

*sigh* And I was just gearing up to finish more artwork, too... Now I've lost everything I've written or scanned in the last 5-6 months... I really can't afford this.

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The April Metro Ballot : What Most People Don’t Figure Out

In response to nearly any article about Metro, I always see a myriad of responses saying “NO.” People are completely sold on “teaching Metro a lesson” and “striking out” against the “mismanaged” Metro. They want Metro to go down in flames, and proudly pipe that the region would be better off without it.

As one of the approximate 600 bottom-rung Metro employees who would lose their jobs if the tax in April does not pass, I would like to point out that the CEOs and board members of Metro will not be hurt by the service cuts. Hard-working, blue collar people who just want to earn a living for their families will be hurt. When you proudly vote “NO” because of whatever reason you devise, it’s really saying, to me, “I would rather keep an extra .50 cents in my pocket when I go grocery shopping than to allow you to keep your job. Have fun in the economic recession!”

I cannot think of a response more selfish and callous. Still, I’m sure people will respond by passing the blame to Metro’s “management,” so they can absolve themselves of all guilt as we’re left unemployed come May.

Even if that doesn’t get to you, think of it this way: The tax doesn’t pass and hundreds of Metro employees are laid off (also included in the jobless category will be those who can no longer get to work due to service cuts), resulting in oodles of YOUR tax dollars paying for OUR Unemployment checks. The opposition seems to be very happy at the prospect of paying for me to sit around at home, rather than offering me the assistance needed to keep my job. And for those who don’t qualify for Unemployment, they may very well reach a level of desperation that would lead them to crime. And when YOU become the victim, the first thing you’ll think is “This is everyone’s fault but mine!”

Something else that is hardly ever considered is that Metro is more than just the Metrolink and Metro Bus. It also carries Metro Call-A-Ride, which is a service for the disabled and elderly. Some use Call-A-Ride to go to dialysis – a procedure they need in order to live. When you shout “NO,” you’re pulling the plug on their lifeline, and all because of what? That extra .50 cents? Because of something the Metrolink did over two full years ago? Again, the “smear campaign” against Metro continues to hurt people who had no say in management’s decisions with the cross-county extension.

If you think that you would never ride Metro, then surely you will be young forever and invincible to all diseases. All it takes would be a bad traffic accident, a stroke, MS, cancer, kidney failure, or any number of crippling events to make you become dependent on something other than your automobile.

One person keeps commenting that Metro bus drivers make more than teachers. Guess what? A lot of people make more than teachers. A random secretary makes more than a teacher. But the solution to that lies in our school system, not in firing or cutting the salary of everyone else. That argument doesn’t even make any sense, unless you campaign against every other job that also happens to make more than a teacher – which would be quite time-consuming.

Also, turnstiles would not be financially responsible for Metro right now. To build and maintain turnstiles at this point would cost more than what Metro would save in fares. Also, there wouldn’t be much to prevent people from just hopping over the turnstiles. If people want to evade the fares, they will find a way. A better solution would be to hire more train patrollers, but that would cost money as well – although it would put more people in the St. Louis area to work. Yet people seem greatly opposed to this…

And for those who continue to incorrectly boast the Metro employees are a bunch of “fat cats”, you should also note that Metro employees did not get raises for 2-3 years. After years with no raise, employees received a small bonus that equaled much less than what those 2-3 years worth of raises would have given them. Because of this bonus (it seemed very large, since nearly everyone in the company received a small sum), people flipped out from the audit last year and began spreading the lie that we receive such bloated benefits and paychecks – which is definitely not the case.

I’ve read nearly every news article regarding Metro, good and bad. Overall, this is what I see – Metro is trying to clean their act up by hosting workshops that are open to the public, as well as opening an online forum where the public can voice their complaints. The problem is that people are too busy clinging to the past to allow any improvement, and would much rather troll comment sections of various news articles than get out there and do anything that would actually improve Metro.

To those who have the gall to claim that I, myself, am the selfish one for asking you to pay a tax for my benefit… I pay taxes for local schools, even though I do not have children. I pay taxes for hospitals, even though I haven’t been to the doctor all year. I pay taxes for the fire department, even though I haven’t had a fire in my life. I pay taxes for the police department, even though I haven’t been the victim of crime. Some of my tax dollars even go toward MoDOT, even though they are “the competition.” I pay taxes on many things that benefit the region that I do not use or would not benefit me.

To anyone who supports Metro, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I doubt I will change any of the nay-sayers minds about the issue, but I still wanted to impart my non-political viewpoint. Also, I’m obligated to say that although I’m an employee of Metro, I do not speak for Metro. I only speak for myself, based on my own experiences. [Written and submitted from my home.]

------------------------------


I was fired up about the issue when I wrote this. Fortunately, there are a lot of people who understand the incredible and real job loss that would result in a "no" vote. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who would rather choose not to think about it and put themselves first. Such is politics. Also unfortunately, it's my job on the line.

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It's my rantbox and I'll cry if I want to!

That being said, this Thanksgiving was probably my most depressing one in a way. First, it starts by me waking up at 7:00 a.m. after staying up 'till like quarter to 1 a.m., by my body's whim. So, this makes me extremely tired all day... Huge bags under my eyes, the whole nine yards.

We drive out to Vandalia to see my mom. That goes about as expected, as it is only Mitch, me, my mom, and my aunt who lives with my mom. The other relatives are real snots that are too wrapped up in high school drama with the aforementioned aunt to show themselves during the holidays - even to spend a few hours with my mom, who loves them unconditionally. My mom goes out of her way to try and get in touch with them, and they avoid her like the plague, and she didn't even do anything wrong. Is it because she's disabled? Yeah, it's real sad, but don't you think she still might like to see you? Hear from you? Get to tell you that she loves you? You're her sister, and you live like five minutes away. Suck it up and stop thinking of yourself for five seconds. Being her benefactor, I'll definitely remember this when you come clambering up after she's gone to take what you can get.

So anyway, my aunt invites this lady from her work that was fired a couple of days ago to share our Thanksgiving with us. Nice lady, although she did have some things to get off her chest. Still, we welcomed her and consoled her, because that's just how we roll.

Before all of this, I called my dad to tell him that I would be in town for Thanksgiving in the late morning to early afternoon. He calls back and leaves a message saying that he doesn't have any plans until the evening, so they should be at the house allll daaaay.

I show up after I'm done with my mom's at 1:40 p.m. - still what I'd consider to be early afternoon. I also noticed that their second car wasn't there at 11:45 a.m. when we passed his place to get to my mom's. But I figured maybe Jacob had it out or maybe one of them was running an errand. So, we go up and the door is locked. We knock, and there's no one to be heard from. My own dad stood me up on Thanksgiving, without even calling or sending me any notification that he wouldn't be there. That's rude by any standards, really.

I'm so "out of sight, out of mind" when I'm not right there in front of him, it's upsetting. He didn't even invite me to his official wedding. I'm his only daughter. I know he has my stepmom and a stepson now, but would it kill him to EVER call? Or even to visit?

I'm always the one who makes the call, and who does the visits, to him. It's been a one-way street for a while. When I visit, I usually don't call in advance, because that way if he's not home, I'm not let down... Like, you know, today. On Thanksgiving.

Combine all this with him telling me to "turn around and go home" when I was running late for Christmas a few years back... Yeah. Crying all day on Christmas alone was awesome. Thanks, dad.

One time when I was in Wood River, he was like 5 minutes away attending an away football game for my stepbrother. He didn't even call to say, "Hey, I'm right over here. If you want you can stop by and say hello," or "Hey, I haven't seen you for a few months and I'm in the area - can we stop by?" Nothing. I heard about it in passing after the fact, after which I told him that he should have called me. It's just great that it never even crossed his mind...

Whenever I'm there, he seems to light up and tell me about every little thing that goes on. My stepmom seems to have a much cooler attitude toward me now for some reason, although I'd place money on it being because of our religious differences. They're convinced I'm going to Hell, so why waste time with me, I guess. Shun the non-believers and all that. We've butted heads on it a few times in the past, but that's about the only thing I can speculate, since that's the only big thing that's changed. Dad and The Fam suddenly "found Jesus", and suddenly his daughter is a lost cause that's going to Hell.

Or maybe it's because my stepmom has a weird, spiteful, selfish streak. Now that I'm gone, she feels relieved that she can have my dad all to herself? I don't know. I'm not really that demanding. I don't want money or things. Just a call or a visit would be nice, or some form of acknowledgment that I matter whatsoever.

I'm tired of being stood up and left out, and feeling hurt from it every time. I'm done trying. I've been trying to reconnect for years, but it's never going to be how it was, because it's one-way. It's like when friends grow older and grow more distant, I guess. Maybe the same thing can happen between parents and children. It sucks, but I can't keep setting myself up to be hurt like this.

My dad was cool. I patterned a lot of my behavior and interests after him, and admired him a great deal as I grew up. There was a time when the thought of his death brought me to tears, without fail. But now, even when I visit, all the closeness is gone. To think that for many years, he was the most important person in my life. Now, it's just talking to an answering machine and waiting for a visit that will never happen.

But yeah, cheese and whine. *sigh* When my mom passes, I'm probably just going to celebrate holidays with Mitch's family and/or friends. I might still stay in contact with the aunt that lives with my mom, if for no other reason than out of gratitude for her taking care of my mom for all these years. And although she was once very mean, her personality has really turned around. I'm not an ogre who can't forgive, so I consider the slate wiped clean. Part of me wonders if the reason she plays live-in nurse with my mom is because she's atoning for the type of person she once was. I dunno.

Hey, since this is a day to be thankful, I will go ahead and mention some things that I'm thankful for, to end on a positive note.

- Thanksgiving at Mitch's family was very pleasant. We played a trivia game from the 70's that was themed, "How Well Do You Know America?" I knew virtually nothing. I pretty much just said "Vietnam!" over and over, hoping to stumble on the right answer. The food was also good, but I greatly regret being so so so so tired. By the end of the day, around 7:00, I was literally falling asleep at the dinner table. I felt so bad. I assured everyone it wasn't because of the company, though.

- I had a pre-Thanksgiving late dinner with friends last night. I really liked the potato salad, and actually being awake to see people was a nice change of pace.

- I've had some good creative urges lately. Although I can only draw quick ink scribbles at work, it's nice to at least be inspired to draw things. I scanned like 10 pictures yesterday, it was crazy.

- Gaming is going well! Having lots of fun with that, and I think that's partly why I'm feeling so inspired. Good deal! Cautiously thinking about getting back on the saddle with BESM due to my players, and greatly looking forward to Amanda's new Changeling tabletop.

- Thankful for Harley, for she supplies my daily Cute Animal Fix.

- Thankful for cookies, because they're friggin' delicious.

- Thankful for Mitch. He's right up there with Harley and cookies, so that says a lot. I depend on him for a lot, and despite the fact that he can get really "emotional" sometimes, he's a good person.

- Even though I have to work all day tomorrow, Mitch is coming to take me out to lunch. &hearts We're going to try a nice little sushi bar that has lunch specials under $10. ♥

- Other than that, I have a lot of thumb-twiddling to do tomorrow due to various frustrating road blocks in my job. I'll still have some things to do, mind you, but it's a blessing that Mitch and I can take a lunch break.

- Last week off of school was very relaxing. I'll have to do some studying in the upcoming week for a test Thursday, but I'm doing well in the class so far. And if I get an A on this last exam, I don't have to take the final. *knocks on wood*

- Thankful for all of my friends! Big and small! Some of you I know I can depend on, waaay more so than any member of my family. It means a lot. I don't know where I'd be without you guys, I really don't. A lot of people helped me along the way to get to where I am - kept me off the streets, kept me in high spirits... I'd be lost without you. So thank you, I mean that.

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So last night Mitch and I went to the World Aquarium and The Rooftop at the St. Louis City Museum. They actually had a lot more at the Aquarium than I expected, although the random alligator in the open tank snuck up on me, eheheh. Looking forward to going back so that I can see the rest of the museum! In the meantime, here are some pictures... under a cut due to their size, of course. Just as a general disclaimer, most of the rooftop pictures aren't awesome because they were taken at night... But being there was awesome.

( Aquarium & Rooftop!Collapse )

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I came across this a while ago - it's pretty freaking cute. Even if you don't like the dance, any fan of Suikoden would probably agree. I especially love Luca's subtle changes in expression.



And in case you want to see Suikoden characters from many games dancing... here you go.

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I know, I know, another post on gaming? She so boring, right? My journal, heathens! :D

I've been thinking about it lately, and I realized that I haven't really had much gaming for a few years there. Suddenly, I'm involved in 3 tabletop games and a potential LARP. Despite the time cut from "other things", I'm liking the change.

Sure, I ran a Changeling game, but running's a lot different than playing. Heh, I actually like playing games better, and usually feel relieved when I neatly wrap up a chronicle. I also played in 7th Sea, which was originally shoved to the forefront as a request from me that was the result of my friends trying to make me feel better after The Fire. I think I just recently got a handle on my character, though - oddly enough, through taking my turn to run the game. Before, she was a fighter in a group of better fighters. As she evolved, she became more "The On-the-Go Doc."

Playing a Promethean in a New WoD setting. I like the dice system a lot better than old WoD, as combat runs a lot smoother and things just take less rolling time. Despite Persephone's (that being my Promethean) struggles and minor angst, the character is really growing on me. I listened to The Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack while thinking her up originally, and now that soundtrack has kind of become her own personal sound volume, to me. I find myself attributing different songs to different scenes of her life, and thinking about her experiences up to this point helps me evolve her into what path she would most logically take. Also, listening to Katy Perry's "Mannequin" makes me think of a tongue-in-cheek conversation between her and her maker (although the first two verses would probably be introspective.) Yay for completely rearranging the context of a song!

By the way, anyone who likes Indian trance gangsta techno pop, check out that Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack. I very much dig it. Trying to find more music like it, I picked up "The Best of A. R. Rahman," though only the first song on that CD sounds like SM, really. Still, these catchy songs are few and far in between, so I'll take what I can get.

I'm also playing in Mitch's Wild West D&D game. I play a cross-dressing gunslinger named Jack (short for Jaqueline - yes, I spell it like that.) Her primary motivation is the gathering of money to buy her little sister out of prostitution, although I'm nudging her in different directions, as that particular goal is far from impossible. She's pretty surly, too. The last session her and Brad's bounty hunter finally started working together. It's somewhat harder when two people of very different pasts have to find a logical reason to work together. Mitch said that it make it hard on him as a storyteller, but he seems to be handling it just fine. He also said he wants more from my backstory than just my origin (since he started us at level 6, he wants to know how I got there) - but I just can't think of much for that. She became a gunslinger because her mentor trained her, and left him about a year later as things one-sidedly got awkward for her. What did she do after that? Western stuff! She wandered and took odd jobs up, I guess. And she gunslung. Iono!

But yeah, it's fun, too. Looking forward to the character evolving beyond a socially apathetic money monger.

Mage LARP could be starting up. I pretty much have an "anything but vampire" mindset about role-playing, so this is exciting news. I've been tossing around the idea of a Cultist (as in, tradition) who uses Time and something else, who's addicted to Adrenaline and Pain. Pretty strange, but I tend to move into a fluffy-bunny model of RPing. It stretches my RP muscles when I try new things.

I think the main reason I like RP-ing is because I'm an extremely creative person, and it's a type of creative outlet that pretty much has instant response. Drawing and writing, well, I do those things, and by the time it gets around to asking anyone's opinion, I already hate what I did. RP doesn't really have that chance, as it's a relatively constant back-and-forth. Still, I should at least pick up my webcomic in the near future.

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This is mainly a post to vent.

So, occasionally I'll go to a room on im-chat.com to get in an RP fix. Most of the 'in depth' role-play there is found in old World of Darkness rooms, which is fine by me. I'm happy enough to go through literally hours of character submission process and backstory writing so that my characters can be approved. I understand that different ST's require different things of their players, and that in an online room where anyone can join, things have to be more strict. I re-wrote and added/subtracted one of my troll concepts about 5 times to grant her approval, almost to the point of changing the entire character concept and the direction I wished to take her. But, as mentioned, I completely understand that leniency would lead to chaos in such a broad, online setting.

So, after this, my characters are approved. Hurray! I can't really play that often (once a month, if that), but I like to get my collaborative creative fix in when I can.

I get in, and a couple people are friendly enough to say 'hi' when I state that I'm there. That's cool. Then, people become engrossed in talking to each other about their characters who have known each other for years. It's pretty much to be expected, although it's fairly intimidating for someone who's just trying to get into the swing of things.

So, I ask if anyone wants to RP, and get ignored. That's fine - the world does not revolve around me, after all. And people may have their characters tied up in other scenes, or may be too tired, or whatever. So, I quietly leave for the night.

Second attempt in asking if anyone wants to RP, about a month later, results in being equally ignored. So I write a solo, which a couple people comment on how amusing my character is. Hurray! Perhaps people will wish to RP with me in the future!

I post said solo on the message board (which is normal to do), and decide to just let myself be happy in entertaining a couple of people and spending the exp from it. The day after said solo is posted, experience for the room is posted.

My character doesn't get experience.

At first I think, "What? But I did something! I did the only thing I could do... I wrote a solo, because my attempts at trying to solicit RP have ended primarily in failure. I should drop a friendly line to the Host of the room and ask for exp in exchange for adding to the room."

Then I realize, upon looking at the exp post, that exp is distributed one of two ways. 1.) Players can vote on your scenes which will give you exp, and 2.) Staff can give your scenes exp. Oh. I see. So you're at the mercy of players and staff, who could just as well choose to ignore you, to determine whether or not your character actually grows.

I put a great deal of thought into my characters, and also my posts. Why should I waste my time only to get a chuckle out of one person and nothing else to show for it? I could just as easily write a book if I want non-interactive writing. I bet I could write things that Mitch or Amanda would chuckle at just as well.

It's just annoying that I've wasted so much time and creative energy on something that's clearly not going anywhere. I'm not dogging the website, but the room within comes off with a certain high school cliquishness as far as the role-play goes. I may yet attempt to drag Mitch into it all, just so I can pursue the story lines I have for my various characters in the interactive setting with which they were meant to be developed.

Heck, if anyone else I know wants to go through the rigmarole to do some online old WoD RP-ing with me, that's welcome, too.

In the meantime, I just had to vent.

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Mitch and I just got back from a visit to the zoo. We arrived somewhat late (around 5 - which was okay, as they close at 7 on the weekends for a bit) so we only got to see 3 areas or so.

I took some pictures - a lot didn't turn out too well because of my camera - but they're posted below. Alas, I didn't get any while I was in the stingray pool.

Yep. While we were there, Mitch and I petted the stingrays. Unfortunately, they already ate before we got there, but it was still very, very cool. First, I would like to comment about their personalities. After watching and interacting with them for a while, they're pretty much like water puppies. They really enjoyed all the attention and were extremely social. They'd happily run along the side of the pool under a long line of hands. Sometimes they'd give small splashes, and although they look very bizarre by most standards, they were a strange sort of cute.

They felt mostly slick, and were brown, gray and black. They definitely seemed to be having fun with all the attention they were getting. One of the little ones kept coming back to Mitch and me again and again - I suspect it liked Mitch's scritching motions it on its head. Some of them felt a little sandy on their back, but that makes sense, since some of them like hiding under sand.

But yes, it was a very fun little diversion. It'd probably freak some people out, but I recommend it if you have $3 and a spare afternoon. The stingers are removed, and they don't have teeth on the outside of their bodies (their teeth are in their equivalent of our esophagus), so they couldn't even hurt you if they wanted to. But they seemed good-natured overall, and I couldn't think of another opportunity I'd get in my lifetime to pet stingrays. Thus, time well spent! We also bought a stuffed stingray as a memento, which I will also include pictures of.

Also I must give a small warning that it smells pretty fishy-ish in there, though that didn't bother me because I was having fun.

*Anticipates Steve Erwin comments now*

( Random zoo pictures!Collapse )

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Anyone local-ish (IL or MO) a fan of the Suikoden video games?

We're thinking of running a Suikoden-style tabletop RPG. It'll be cool, and we'd do up all of the races and such for player reference.

It's still conceptual at this stage, and it still may never happen. But still, it'd be neat if it did.

( Here's a sample of what I've been drumming up for it.Collapse )

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It was a beautiful day yesterday, so Mitch and I decided to pay a visit to the Butterfly House. It's owned by the Missouri Botanical Gardens, and it's on Olive Road (at Faust Park, to be exact.) The tickets were $6, which is cheaper than a movie ticket here, so it was definitely worth the money spent.

I want to share how beautiful it was with you guys, so I'll post a bunch of pictures under the cut. Warning : Some of them are big, and there are a lot! Still, this place is highly recommended by me.

( My visit to The Butterfly HouseCollapse )

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So, now that I'm finally feeling better, I'd like to start running games again. They're long overdue, anyway.

I tried to get the word out via word of mouth, but just to be sure, I'm posting here. I hope to run Changeling on this upcoming Sunday (I believe that would be May 31st.) There are only 3 or so sessions left, so I'm pretty excited about the story's conclusion.

If it won't work, lemme know so we can reschedule! Stay tuned for updates concerning 7th Sea.

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Health status: Still sick.

Mental status: Very annoyed.

The good news: At least I don't have to go back to classes until Monday.

The bad news: The weather is freaking nice and I want to go outdoor places and see Star Trek, but I just feel too miserable to taint anything I would otherwise regard as super fun with the misery of congestion and nausea.

It all started last Wednesday. I had a very very very sore throat, so I called my doctor and spoke with his nurse on Thursday. They gave me amoxicilian or whatever. Awesome. I take it three times a day, and the anti-biotic gives me a completely different type of infection. So, I had to hault taking the amox and now I'm going to switch to something else to deal with that. On top of that infection, I've spiralled back downward since yesterday (Wednesday seems to be my doomsday) and now it seems that I have something completely different than before. So I'm dealing with 2 different types of infections at the same time, like some sort of crazy dual-wielding ranger class of illness. I can't even take any centrum because when I do, I get a sudden, violent, "I'm-going-to-throw-up-right-now" shortly after taking it. It's very uncomfortable, yet I'm thinking about taking it anyway since my immune system seems to have been paid off by mobsters to take a dive in the final round.

*cough*

[From a saved draft before]

April 30: I went to the Flight of the Conchords performance Thursday night, which was hilariously awesome. I don't know if I like their new songs more than their old songs, but they put on a good show. Also, the guy who plays the landlord on their show opened for them as a comedian, and he was truly funny. He gave out postcards about Delta airlines hatred, which I intend to scan and share. B & J seemed to do a lot of particulars on the fly, and their format was typically song-talking-song-talking-song-talking. Part of me wanted to stay behind and watch them exit the Fox and walk to their tour bus, but a larger part of me was whining about going to bed and waking up for work the next morning. Consequently, I also passed on the midnight showing of Wolverine. Ah well.

May 1: Mitch and I went to The Melting Pot on the Delmar Loop for our 6 Month Anniversary. It was teh fancy. We had a four course fondu meal with unlimited dipping objects (other than entree) for like $102. It seems like a lot for a 2-person meal perhaps, but this place is nice and there was not one food item that I didn't like. Then again, I like cheese, chocolate, and meat. Five-star rating from The Jenny. This place will duly be added to my "go to when I want someplace nice like out of a movie or something."

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Okay, 7th Sea Players! As previously discussed, I was planning on running my first game on Saturday or Sunday next weekend (April 25-26). Sunday typically seems to work better with that.

Also, I want to run a somewhat character-driven segment of the chronicle. It's entirely optional, but it'd be cool if people posted a brief backstory on their characters in response to this post. (Responses will be filtered so that it'll still be a surprise if it comes up with anyone else.) Anything else of note should be told to me here as well - like if your character invested points in something that's never come into play story-wise yet. Here's an example, using Reinhilde :

"Reinhilde was born into a noble family, though her father - a down-to-earth, stalwert Eisen - took up the trade of blacksmithing to make good use of his free time. The Cuyler family consisted of Reinhilde's father, his wife, and an older sister. The older sister was the opposite of Reinhilde in many ways. Whereas Reinhilde was always outside, atheletic and boisterous, while her sister, Anneliese, was fairer and more domestic. They lived relatively close to another branch of the Cuyler line, and that is where Reinhilde frequently ran to when she was in her more wild temperments. Mainly, she ran to their home to see the kennel, as they were upstart dog breeders. Seeing his daughter return again and again to their kennel, he bargained four good, breeding dogs from his brother, and returned home with them. Overjoyed, Reinhilde took it upon herself to train and care for the dogs, alongside her father and a couple of hired hands. She grew up very close to her father, while her sister grew up more close to their mother, and grew into a young lady who greatly resembled her father in demeanor - stoic, loyal, and earnest. She wanted to be strong, like him, so she agreed to enroll into the Eisen sword school. Upon her return, her father gifted her with a specially-fashioned hammer, to use in lieu of the axe she'd trained with."

Yours can be much shorter. I was just being kinda verbose. Whatever isn't mentioned I'll leave up to my imagination, so be warned~

Also, to my Changeling players: I was thinking about running on Saturday, May 2nd, schedules permitting. Let me know if you can't make it! Thanks!

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I've been meaning to write this entry for a while, but things have just been incomprehensibly busy, especially considering last week I didn't go to school because of Spring Break.

Ever since my birthday, things have been crazy in their own right. For example, ON my birthday I had a very pleasant meal with close friends. (I didn't intend for this until the last minute, when I awkwardly called out 3 invites over the phone.) Immediately after the dinner, I had to rush Mitch to the ER because he couldn't eat or drink and he hadn't done so all day due to vertigo. Altogether, it took about four hours, and he's been sick to death with sinus troubles ever since. It seems that we both usually wake up several times a night due to these problems, and the lack of sleep + worrying about him being sick has left me fairly frayed.

It's not hit fault at all. I just want him to see a doctor and get stronger medicine than what we've been trying (and we've tried everything from various pills to nasal strips.) Still, I think it's taken a toll on my psyche.

I've had some bizarre nightmares lately, further provoking my inability to sleep throughout the night. When I wake up, some days I feel anxious and fidgety all day, and I even crab at Mitch. Yesterday was one such day especially, as people were over and I mainly hid in my/our room and pretended to not be there. I just have this overwhelming urge not to bother people, by and large, so I try to make myself non-existant. This was partially dispelled when me and two others went out to get ice cream, and I tried desperately to re-intigrate myself without causing any harm, but I still feel that I failed somehow. I feel like a jerk, and I'm beating myself up over it a lot.

I need to break out of this anti-social shell I'm crawling into. It may be that I'm just still adjusting to the official move of last month. Despite how much I've done them, moves are hard on me in a very deep way. It continually feels like I'm on an island - the likes of which is drifting very slowly away from people. It's a helpless feeling, like watching that which you love float lazily away and not being able to do anything about it.

Sometimes I feel like I -could- do something about it, but then my stupid mind just starts beating me up and feeding me all sorts of negativity about myself. I know I'm not boring. I know I'm not cruel-intentioned. But yet I feel this way. Maybe I just can't cope with change very well.

And I'm going to be a Psychology Major! Wooo!

On a bright note, I got a rockin' birthday card this year. I intend to scan it and show of it's awesomeness (clearing out the personal message for privacy of the people involved, of course.)

I've been meaning to work on my webcomic, but it seems I really need a kick in the pants for that. Rwar-ness. Tonight all I'm doing in English is listen to various classmates fumble through their interpretation of the rest of "In the Spirit of Crazy Horse." Although this can lead to great comedy, I wish I had the conscience to skip and go do something I normally don't have time to do.

Oh, and another thing that's been stressing me out is the fact that I've been dropping acid... on the bottom of my foot. Every night. It takes like 45 minutes of breathing in noxious fumes in the bathroom and, of course, aciding off my flesh. It's all because I'm trying to avoid going to the doctor because of lack of health insurance, and there are these weird callouses on the bottom of my feet that have developed into something akin to rocks. So, as a result, it feels like I'm walking on rocks that are inside my feet. That is SO much different than walking on sunshine, let me tell you.

I beat Suikoden Tactics yesterday, which is keen. Now Mitch and I can start on Secret of Mana sometime. We also got into this great party in FFXI Saturday, which ate up a lot of time. Whoops... It's easy to lose track of time when playing that game sometimes. Conversely, it's great for dieting.

Speaking of, I need to lose some weight. I'm starting to notice that I'm getting bigger, and it further motivates me to keep up with the acid. I'm also limiting myself to 2 medium-sized meals a day, rather than continual eating. I mean, lately I've felt like I'm hungry all the time, but I'm 100% sure that's because of the aformentioned mental anxiety. So, I eat 2 meals, and cut down on the snacking. After I get these things off of my feet (either via surgery or acid), I do intend to get back into DDR daily. Yesssss.

Lunar: Dragon Song, as a game, has gotten so inpalatable that I had to switch it out for random job-leveling in FFIII. I think hissing at the screen was involved. I'm basically at a point where I have to run a bunch of pointless gather-and-deliver missions in order to make Pennies Per Effort so that I have funds to buy ridiculously expensive armor and weapons in the next village.

"But wouldn't it make sense to just keep using the armor and weapons you already have?" A sane person would ask. Unfortunately, these game developers did not have any such sane people on their staff.

Unfortunately, weapons and armor break as though they were made of paper mache. Between EVERY town, 1-3 items generally break. These are items I just saved up and bought in the town before. And need I mention that running kills you? And that you either get to choose between experience OR items that you can use on aformentioned pointless deliveries in exchange for gold?

I'm at a point where I need to look up which monsters drop bananas and spoons, so that I can gather those specific items and deliver them to a random person in a random city so that I can collect 4,000 gold. Considering that weapons and armor cost up to 40,000 gold EACH, this can get expensive. And yes, it's broken down into Head/Body/Arms/Legs/Rings over three people.

If the battles were anywhere near the realm of interesting, I might be able to forgive this. Say, if they had catchy battle music and an inventive, fun system of gameplay. However, the battles are infuriating to watch, since you can't control who you attack and your magic (beyond Token Healer) is wildly limited. So, you can choose the "Attack" picture and the people will duly attack whoever you would never have chosen them to attack. It is a frustrating endeavor of futility. Thus, I usually hit "Auto Fight" and walk away until I hear victory music.

On the bright side, I've almost mastered White Mage on Refia in Final Fantasy III. It's refreshing to turn to competent people - and it actually took me some time to get used to the concept that running would not tick away at my HP. Maybe Lunar: Dragon Song is a lesson in health, as the youths probably have a myriad of bodily problems that prevent them from running for any amount of time without slowly dying. Lucia probably has clogged arteries from too many Big Macs, and Jian is most likely asthmatic. Perhaps Gabriele is diabetic and refuses to take her insulin, and Flora could very well possibly be anemic. Only in this way does it make sense for their HP to tick down while they run. As a result, we're forced to walk around like a bunch of back-holding grandparents, even when traversing things that further hurt our HP, like LAVA.

Anyway, I'm going to go do something I should've done a long time ago, and I'm going to finally put those books up on the shelf.

But before I do that, I'm going to end this incredibly long entry with this: http://www.bookmooch.com is awesome. I recommend it to anyone who reads and likes to ship out books they don't read anymore to someone who'll appreciate them.

Oh, and, like, if anyone wants to hang out, drop me a line here. Anyone. Really. I'm really not as helpless in this "drifting island" feeling as my mind tells me. Funny that I make this proposition after a long shpiel concerning my anxiety problems. Eh, no one's perfect!

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Since it's very hard for me to get everyone together... When can my players get together? Post here with schedules. I'd like to pick up running my game again sometime, lest it be swept into obscurity for the rest of our days.

The reason I post is because it's just been so long since I've run it, I'm hardcore starting to lose interest in my plot/the game. I'd like to jump-start that by actually playing sometime. ^^;

Or, if other people don't have any interest, that's cool with me. I won't be personally insulted or anything.

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I'm totally stranded in a truly outrageous way! This morning, after the bitter chill blew in, my car wouldn't start. It hasn't started all day. *sigh*

I don't want to spend $100 on a diagnosis and $500 more on getting Whatever repaired at the mercy of Firestone. I usually get the "This Girl Knows Nothing About Cars Discount", which is actually like a Reverse Discount, in the way that they usually charge me more money because they know I don't have a choice.

DO I have a choice? I only have a finite number of vacation days I can afford to spend on this. -_- My co-worker Brian missed 3 days due to a car accident, and management is still fighting him about it. I have like $200 in my bank account to last me until Friday... What are my choices? I really DON'T know anything about cars.

It's making a chugging noise like it wants to start, but it isn't. People tell me it might be my battery... But my car (02 Cavalier) might also be the kind that you have to remove something to put a new battery in. I'm afraid of jacking things up if I get in there and start tooling around. Grrr...

I'm half-tempted to call people at work and ask them what they would do, just so they know I'm making a genuine effort. Apparently today wasn't a big deal to call in for, since a lot of people called in, but tomorrow might not be the same story...

Friday it's supposed to "warm up" again, above freezing, but I don't know how work would handle me taking a week off due to a sudden lack of transportation. No one I know travels from North county to the city who I can carpool with. The nearest bus is about 1 1/2 miles of walking, including the VERY shady walk after dark between my workplace and Grand Metrolink Station. Again, I say, argh.

RantRantRant. VentVentVent.