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you don't need to get signed to warp records bro you need to drink more water
sam goldner
11.3K posts
sam goldner
@szgoldner
- cool. i understand nowVideo made with AI explains how the ancient Egyptians built the pyramids!
- this bad bitch has been silently holding down the culture for decades now
- the white house website has a countdown for the big beautiful bill that looks exactly like the domino’s pizza tracker
- my favorite lynch story is a friend of a friend knew his son in college and was over at his house one time. they were leaving to get lunch, and lynch asked where they were going. they said they were grabbing burritos, to which lynch responded, "what's a burrito"
- lynch one of the only men to have 4 wives where my response to hearing that information is wow he was so loved by women
- farmer who’s spent 10 years training his livestock to recognize basic words and shapes:my goat knows ball
- whatever happened to seeing movies BECAUSE they’re about a monkey you’ve never heard of
- Replying to @szgoldnerand if this sounds fake, i also met his son outside a pupusa stand one time and asked if this really happened. before i could even finish the story, he goes "yeah yeah, 'what's a burrito, what's a taco,' that's him alright..." 🤯
- Replying to @szgoldnerone of the first times i ever smoked weed in high school my friend gave me headphones and put on this lustmord track and told me to imagine i was in pitch black at the bottom of the ocean lol
- sorry maybe i’m just out of the loop but i didn’t realize imagine dragons were making like clowncore nu-metal dubstep rap now
00:00 - love how goofy movie opens on this horrifying freudian nightmare
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