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shiner_sam
@shiner_sam
New music champion | band tee enthusiast 🎡
Up In The Sky
Joined January 2014
Posts
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    Just been to Asda and a girl put three jars of honey in the trolley that her (I assume) partner was pushing and he said β€œfuckin hell calm down Winnie the Pooh” πŸ˜‚
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    In case anyone had the wrong impression that I am remotely posh.. Here’s a video of me drinking a Peroni last Christmas 🍺🍺
    00:00
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    Fucking hate arguing about a food bill. Oh you owe me Β£1.50 because you had an extra portion of chips. But you owe me 50p because you had an espresso. Can we just pay the bill equally and get the fuck off out of here πŸ˜‚
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    So, I turn 31 tomorrow. Ten years ago I had a mortgage, I was engaged. But that didn’t mean I was happy. I’m currently living with my mum and I still find fart jokes hilarious. I have my beautiful friends and family and a good job. My heart is settled πŸ’—
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    Did you know that Bill Withers had a brother called 'Bear' who wrote telephone hold music?
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    The crowd for Coldplay is nuts. What a beautiful sight! #glastonbury2024
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    Years ago my parents separated and my mum had nothing, with three kids to support on her own. She got a job at a small company and worked her arse off. She’s now a senior and the company is huge. And today, she has paid off her mortgage! I’M SO PROUD πŸ’ž
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    I run a lot as you may or may not know, mostly by myself, but today, for the first time in the six years I’ve been running, I took part in an actual 10k event and got my first ever medal. So I’m being a proud medal wanker and wearing it all day longπŸ…πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜‚
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    Quality Street strawberry cremes are the one. The taste of Christmas for meπŸ‘ŒπŸ»
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    Me yesterday to my mum, having a pure meltdown before going out: I feel so fat 😭 She said my darling, you always look beautiful Gotta embrace these curves πŸ˜‚β€οΈ
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    Just watched a drunk fella go into the train toilet and as the automatic door opened for him, he declared β€œTonight Matthew” πŸ˜‚
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    Whenever I hear a man gently cough, I always expect to hear a guitar intro and then Noel Gallagher to start singing
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    Oh and I’ve failed Dry January. Cheers πŸ₯‚