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Scott Lynch
@scottlynch78
New York Times Best Selling author of the Gentleman Bastard sequence. Volunteer firefighter, 2005-2016. He/him. scottlynch.substack.com
Massachusetts
scottlynch.us
Joined July 2009
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57.7K
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  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Aug 25, 2022
    Replying to @WhiteHouse46 and @WhiteHouse
    Hey, WH staff, just so you know, if you're going to continue to drag these hypocrites with clear and hard-hitting messaging, you run a serious risk of surging enthusiasm, electoral success, and continued improvements to the lives of millions of Americans.
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Jul 29, 2024
    Back in the mid-90s these two were fucking ubiquitous and they basically never did a normal photo shoot. You'd spot them in Investment Portfolio Quarterly being asked about their savings plans and the accompanying photos would be them pouring oil on one another in a dungeon.
    user avatar
    DepressedBergman
    @DannyDrinksWine
    Jul 28, 2024
    Gillian Anderson & David Duchovny photographed by George Lange, 1995.
    5.4M
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Jun 15, 2024
    user avatar
    Mike Hixenbaugh is mikehixenbaugh.com on BlueSky
    @Mike_Hixenbaugh
    Jun 15, 2024
    A Texas megachurch pastor who advised Donald Trump — and who has repeatedly warned his congregation that Satan is at work inside public school libraries — has confessed to “inappropriate sexual behavior” with a child four decades ago. christianpost.com/news/pastor-ro…
    1.2M
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Dec 23, 2017
    Reactions to Socks as a Christmas Gift by Calendar Age: 0-3: blurb nurg (eats socks) 4-12: oh, socks 13-18: (SIGH) socks are you FUCKING serious 19-39: oh thank god, something useful, thank god 40+: Warm feet are the solitary joy remaining to me in this dark and fallen world
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Jan 29, 2020
    STEPHEN KING WRITING ABOUT LIVING IN NEW ENGLAND: The old man who ran the town dump communed with darkness. He kept a Hand of Glory in a 1982 Boston Bruins mug. Crows and bats were his to command. ME AFTER MOVING TO NEW ENGLAND: Jesus, I used to think Stephen King made shit up.
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    May 19, 2020
    So many people running around claiming they'll do anything for America. Carry guns, live in bunkers, fight in the hills. What they're actually asked to do is wear simple protective measures, keep their distance, show patience and courtesy. And they break like fucking glass.
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Aug 27, 2018
    Someone with an advanced degree looked at this 12-foot tall omnivorous all-destroying furry fist of a Pleistocene god and said "Hmm, yeah, the central point is, this motherfucker sure had a short nose."
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Mar 22, 2019
    The three random yet recurring phases of cat ownership: 1- You are as elegant as moonlight and shadow, my sleek panther, my tiny hunter 2- You are my little boopersnoot squigglebutt squishydoodle 3- STOP CRAPPING OUTSIDE YOUR GODDAMN BOX YOU MALEVOLENT LITTLE STENCH GARGOYLE
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Mar 26, 2020
    SARUMAN (kneeling before a Palantir): What is thy will, Sauron, lord of Middle-Earth? BURNING EYE: BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF- MR. SNEEBLES: mew BURNING EYE: WHAT IS THAT SARUMAN: Forgive Mr. Sneebles, lord! I'll move him. BURNING EYE: NO, NO. I TOTALLY WANT TO SEE THE CAT
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    May 13, 2019
    Season 8, Ep. 6: EVERYONE: Hey, Drogon, where's Danaerys? Or Jon? DROGON: NO IDEA. DROGON KING NOW. EVERYONE: what DROGON: DROGON SPEAK YOUR STUPID LANGUAGE THIS WHOLE TIME. NOW MAKE METAL CHAIR BIGGER FOR DROGON. BRING DROGON SHEEP AND ALE! TYRION: I can work with this.
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Aug 22, 2019
    "You're not lifting Mjolnir, that's just a prop!" is definitely going to make me stare quietly at the sky for about three hours.
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    May 7, 2020
    Reflecting on the fact that Blofeld's base in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER had an "If in doubt, ASK" sign posted in the control room. So few megalomaniacs get this! Whether your base is an oil rig or a volcano, empowering your minions via an atmosphere of mature inquiry is so important.
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Jan 27, 2018
    CRUCIAL DELETED SCENES FROM THE STAR WARS SAGA: A Short Thread YODA: Into exile, you must go. A strategy, have you? OBI-WAN: I'll take baby Luke to his dad's homeworld and give him to his dad's only living step-relatives. YODA: A small heart attack, I seem to be having.
  • user avatar
    Scott Lynch
    @scottlynch78
    Jan 11, 2016
    Fuck this shit. Get me a space shuttle, a priest of every religion, a unicorn horn, and some duct tape. We're going to go fetch Bowie back.