user avatar
not your lawyer
@schizesq
litigator | mom to a wild toddler | bourbon drinker | nothing here is endorsed by my employer
Annapolis, MD
Joined September 2011
Posts
  • user avatar
    In San Fran for the 1st time. Tour guide said to come here & not even look at a menu, just ask “what are you making today?” We did that & the very old waitress said “yes I make you food” and took our menus and walked away. This is about to be the best meal of my life.
  • user avatar
    the most on brand gift I ever could have received
  • user avatar
    Bullshit. This man has seen it all. This man will file the most scathing motion you’ve ever read & follow up with a “sent from my iPhone” email. This man sees the judges daily & won’t be fooled by your BigLaw ~fear me~ attitude. I’d trust this man with my life.
  • user avatar
    Replying to @schizesq
    Appetizer round consisted of lightly spicy garlic pickles, fried chicken & apple with a mustard sauce, & braised short ribs ??????? am I dreaming ?????
  • user avatar
    Replying to @schizesq
    && entree round was chicken fried rice made at our table & shrimp beef cauliflower mushroom peanut sauce something amazing 12/10
  • user avatar
    Replying to @schizesq
    Guys I understand, y’all hate “San Fran”, pls forgive me I am a mere tourist from Maryland & have never been to California at all!!! Will remember for next time ♥️💯🫡
  • user avatar
    Y’ALL THEY’RE ACTUALLY GONNA LET ME BE A LAWYER I PASSED THE FREAKING BAR EXAM
  • user avatar
    omg I forgot to tell y’all: in court Thursday there was an attorney there for a hearing wearing THESE SHOES with a full pantsuit I stg I almost had to leave the room
  • user avatar
    Replying to @PatriotMomUSA1
    Oh don’t worry, we got them 😂😂 (photo taken with consent)
  • user avatar
    I’m a whole ass attorney and I was today years old when I learned that the show “Suits” did not actually get its name from the characters wearing suits all the time
  • user avatar
    Replying to @DeuceChurros415
    I wanted to type it all out but ran out of characters!!! I refuse to get verified so this is my penance
  • user avatar
    ADHD is not having the energy to wash a single dish throughout the whole week and then waking up at 8am on a Saturday and deep cleaning your home for 4 hours straight
  • user avatar
    Do... do non-lawyers know that lawyers do not practice every type of law? I'm stunned today. Would you hire an eye doctor to give you foot surgery???
  • user avatar
    Being a lawyer is just answering emails and trying not to cry in front of judges every day until you die