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Women get to smell like real things (vanilla, lavender) but men have to smell like concepts. What the fuck is "cool sport rush"
Ron Iver
33.3K posts
Ron Iver
@ronnui_
Super desperate for you to like me
- Do dogs understand elevators or are they just like ok it's time to get into the world changer
- If you look closely you can see that all the beverages already had containersi’m obsessed with people who do this like it’s so organized omfg😭
00:00 - Normal people: I left my sunglasses in the car. Jeep Owners: I Jeeped my Jeepgoggles in the Jeep™
- The first boob I ever saw was in Titanic. Never seen a boob since. Waiting for Titanic 2 I guess.
- When I got the vaccine they asked me how I was feeling and I said I feel kind of updog and they put the syringe back in and took the vaccine out of me
- "I squat 315" "I bench press 225" ok well while you're lifting weights I'm lifting my homies' spirits with little jokes and tomfoolery
- Pixar: How did you get past security? Me: *out of breath* I have such a good name for a Ratatouille sequel, Rata- Pixar, sighing: Rata2ille? Me: -touille 2 oh man yours is so good
- You listen to cool music every day but play Mambo No. 5 one time and Spotify is like "Your number one artist this year is Lou Bega. We told him you want to meet him"
- Wanting to be funny is a disease. Why am I spending 30 minutes trying to think of a clever wifi name for my neighbors to see?
- Girlfriend: You never say anything romantic to me. Me: *just called her the rootinest tootinest cowboy the west has ever seen* Are you joking right now?
- I forgot that it's illegal for good things to happenA judge has blocked The Onion from buying InfoWars.
