Pinned
cars have windows and can move. houses have windows and can’t move. so it’s not the windows that make the car go, it’s something else entirely
pj
4,531 posts
pj
@pjayevans
currently writing amazing jokes at @friday_beers previously writing amazing stories at @moreperfectus
- Standing outside buckingham palace With my portable speaker blasting see you again by Wiz khalifa
- if someone at my job murdered someone and continued working at my job, i would quit my job
- Having a tummy ache at war would be so fucked
- You should be able to kill someone in Mario Kart
- My dad is describing in great detail how he would kill the grinch while My mom is cooking breakfast for sixteen people.
- You couldn’t possibly know thatAtlas turns 1 today. You know what he wants for his birthday? For you to get out there and vote for Donald J. Trump for president (and his dad for veep)
- Hey dude I was hoping you could watch me from 3-8 tonight my gf is going to hang out with her friends and I get afraid
- 95% of the ocean is unexplored which means there could be a Kohl’s down there
- the amityville horror house, where 6 people were murdered, feels the need to decorate for halloween
- Wasting a gorgeous fit on my family
- Quentin Tarantino is the perfect name for that freak
- Can I come over. I got the zoomies and you have an open floor plan
