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philip matarese
@philorphilip
cocreator of the HBO show Animals.
Born February 7, 1989
Joined April 2011
Posts
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    “What if we gave every mom an absolute dumptruck ass” -pixar
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    if u don't think Jackass was the pinnacle of television you're a fucking idiot what other show had a casual Brat Pitt abduction cameo
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    I will never fucking meal prep the daily chaotic search for food is my thrust in life arguably my sole purpose
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    Too much pressure put on Scooby Doo to solve crimes, he is a dog pet & kiss him
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    Zoom Cat Filter Video is flawless. Makes it all worth it. The internet, everything. Just a guy at the absolute end of his rope saying “I- I’m not a cat.” It's all worth it. I feel alive.
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    yo Pixar maybe chill with the dying movies we're all dying do a bug one again or some shit
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    When my parents say “Philip how do I get it back to regular tv” my next 5-10 minutes are absolutely fucked
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    As an alpha male, I rebuke rollercoasters. I will not be jostled and flown along a silly track according to another man's engineering. Flipping around some pervert's dream. And what if I squeal??
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    My me has his me trained to attack anyone me screams at 😂😂😂
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    not the most pressing issue; but i did a quick eyedropper on this fuckin weirdo's hand and face tones
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    The oldest squirrel live to 23. So there could be a squirrel out there that remembers 9/11 and perhaps even saw She's All That in theaters. Pretty cool.
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    The names bond. Names Bond.