user avatar
Norm Macdonald
@normmacdonald
This is my official twitter i like bananas. theyre yellow.
Los Angeles
youtube.com/normmacdonald
Joined April 2009
710
Following
1M
Followers
Posts
  • Pinned
    user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Jul 15, 2021
    I was afraid the game would be too close for the line and I don't want to bet against Bucks. I'll take the 0 112.5 for the second half-total. This one feels like it might A: go to overtime or B; be real close at the half and a lot of free throws. Thus the Over for 4000 units.
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Apr 11, 2019
    Neil, there is a logic flaw in your little aphorism that seems quite telling. Since you and I are part of the Universe, then we would also be indifferent and uncaring. Perhaps you forgot, Neil, that we are not superior to the Universe but merely a fraction of it. Nice day, indeed
    user avatar
    Neil deGrasse Tyson
    @neiltyson
    Apr 3, 2019
    The Universe is blind to our sorrows and indifferent to our pains. Have a nice day!
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Dec 16, 2016
    What terrifies me is if ISIS were to detonate a nuclear device and kill 50 million Americans. Imagine the backlash against peaceful Muslims?
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Jan 2, 2019
    It's always sad when a comedian gets old and isn't funny anymore. Few avoid this. But what if there was a comedian who not only didn't lose it, but instead became funnier everyday, every day until his last. There was one. And now there is not. Bob Einstein is gone. I loved him.
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Jun 12, 2020
    I used to think Dave Chapelle was the next Pryor. Now I think he’s the next MLK. Very proud to count you as a freind, Dave.
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Dec 20, 2019
    I like Andrew Yang the best because I'm a big fan of 1000 dollars. Always have been.
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Oct 4, 2020
    Pray for the speedy recovery of the President and the First Lady. If prayer is beyond your moral scope, then at least find it in your heart not to laugh.
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Mar 26, 2020
    I don't know this celebrity was who sang "Imagine" online so the elderly ones who are dying agonizing deaths can be assured by a smug celebrity that there is no heaven. God, celebrities are idiots. Shame.
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Mar 12, 2020
    It's morally wrong for me to do stand-up and cause strangers to possibly become sick. And now, with this virus, it seems even more wrong. I'm postponing my next two gigs, but am hopeful a vaccine comes that protects us all from Tom Hanks Disease (THD).
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Feb 26, 2020
    Klobuchar said the vaccine for the corona Virus is in some kid's head in West Virgina. Find this goddam kid. NOW!!!!!!!!
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Dec 20, 2019
    Just turned on the debate to hear Bernie rail against childhood poverty. I'm no economist but aren't all children broke?
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Jun 17, 2019
    Hey, OJ, it's Norm. Listen, be careful about the videos you put out there. I recognize the golf course behind your house I know that exact street and could easily print your address. Of course I never would, but others would. Be careful, Juice.
    user avatar
    O.J. Simpson
    @TheRealOJ32
    Jun 15, 2019
    Coming Soon!!!
    00:00
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    Aug 10, 2019
    Hey, did Jeffrey Epstein commit suicide? He was on suicide watch. Impossible. was he murdered by his rich and powerful freinds?
  • user avatar
    Norm Macdonald
    @normmacdonald
    May 25, 2020
    Fred Willard was a good friend of mine. I cast him in the show and he was something to watch. Some comedians say outrageous thing in a boring way, others say boring things in an outrageous way. Fred could somehow be hysterical by saying boring things in a boring way.