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I regret to inform you that doing literally 7 mins of gratitude every day with my partner has indisputably shifted my brain chemistry for the better
mel 🫀☁️
4,162 posts
mel 🫀☁️
@melodaysong
writing! or in a park
Joined February 2012
- took me like 7-9 months of refusing to shame or coerce myself into doing things (ie exercise when I didn’t feel like it) before I truly grokked this in my bones — discipline can be one of the highest forms of self love
- i found this comic from skeleton claw last year and cannot stop coming back to it
- so actually the ppl in my friend group who are consistently the happiest is this group of dudes who do little/no inner work but have a vibrant group chat, hang out nearly every wkd, and randomly passive FaceTime each other for hours everyday and idk they might be onto something
- my theory for why certain activities (taking a walk, weightlifting, chatting w a friend, etc) have such a drastic impact on mental state — we're so digitally disembodied 90% of our waking hours that anything that reminds us we're a human inside a body feels incredibly resonant,
- “The problem with getting good at managing your life is that you end up with a life that has to be managed” truly a banger
- never underestimate the power of a good flailing period; when i quit corporate in 2020 i spent many months moseying about, staring into the void, trying new things/failing, etc. the lessons i learned in that time period were invaluable. doing nothing is not doing nothing
- one of the most important dating/compatibility traits to look for imo is desired rate of growth; even if you start out in similar places + have similar values, if one person's picking things up way faster than the other it creates an inevitable delta that can be hard to overcome
- i read somewhere that one of the biggest psychological pitfalls is that we unconsciously interpret discomfort as "i'm doing something wrong" when the truth may be that you're simply doing something *new*
- i rly think that one of the most useful prompts to understand the state of nearly anything in your life (whether career/romantic relationship or a conversation you're having) is as simple as: Am i still having fun?
- girls just want one thing, and it’s an interdependent multigenerational village built on mutual trust and respect where the kids run free, the food fully nourishes, and the people care deeply for the earth, each other, themselves
- Replying to @melodaysongto be clear, this is not a dunk whatsoever on inner work. i think it's incredibly important and am hugely passionate about it this is more a call to zoom out and remember that friendship is often one of the the most potent psychotechnologies of all :)
- my hot take of the day is that existing frameworks and theories around attachment lag far, far behind how relationships have evolved in the digital age for me, anxious/avoidant/fearful no longer capture the intricacies of how tech has upended how we relate to others
