I used the old “I gave birth to you” on my daughter, she said “That was one time”.
uncle mom
23.2K posts
uncle mom
@mayamanion
subpar mom, shitty waitress, Columbo aficionado twitter.com/search?q=from%…
Joined November 2008
- My son got a face tat. Go ahead and bottle feed, it doesn’t matter.
- After I dropped my daughter off at college, my youngest son said “We’re finally empty nesters. Let’s start traveling”.
- My mom called to tell me that my brother’s wife had a baby and she’s so happy to finally be a grandmother. Side note, I have 3 kids.
- I’d like to thank my kids for not being athletic. It really frees up the weekends.
- My son just got a face tat. Don’t breastfeed, it’s not worth it.
- My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week
- Having 3 kids is like having the 3 shittiest roommates ever
- I shouldn’t have splurged on all those utilities last month.
- The upside to having a kid with a face tat is no one asks me for advice.
- "How many blow jobs over the speed limit was I going Officer?"
- I don’t like the word, stepmother. I prefer, “sidemom”,
- Ok all I'm saying about Butt Sex is don't put money in the candy machine, then get surprised when candy comes out
- My ex-husband asked me if I have a copy of our divorce agreement? I have wallet size, keychains, mug. I got the deluxe package, what do you need?