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the wicked witch of the east bro
@kpfeffss
Scooby Doo spooky island stan account (she/her)
instagram.com/kpfeffss/
Joined November 2011
219
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  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Jun 22, 2018
    I took an uber alone at 2am and when I got out my uber driver was like “have fun, get that dick!” and I said “hell yes thank you!!” because I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was being dropped at my moms house cause we have to wake up early to celebrate my dogs birthday
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Jun 25, 2017
    I overheard a guy saying to his girlfriend "are you ready to fucking rage" as they walked into target together and that's what I want
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Jul 11, 2018
    Guys will literally put their fist through a wall and break their hands then turn around and say women are crazy because we sometimes cry when we’re sad
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Aug 15, 2018
    I woke up from surgery and apparently said “I feel fucking great I get why people get addicted to this stuff” and they legally had to inform my mom that I said that LMAO
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Jun 3, 2019
    Why in the fat hell did we learn about Greek mythology in elementary school?? They spent MONTHS teaching us about made up stuff. I can tell you about Zeus and his bitches but I can’t tell you what a 401K is
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Apr 19, 2020
    who is one celebrity you hate for no reason and why is it camila cabello
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Aug 11, 2018
    My roomie and I were talking about fictional characters we’d bone and I said Christian Bale in American Psycho and this bitch dead ass said Johnny Depp as WILLIE WONKA. I’m moving out
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    May 29, 2018
    My roomie brought a boy home at 3am and the first thing she did was make him fix our broken garage door and our blown fuse. She’s a true innovation QUEEN
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Sep 28, 2019
    In high school I posted a bikini pict and my boyfriend at the time didn’t like that so he bought likes for the photo so it had 3,000 likes, prompting me to delete it so it didn’t look like I bought likes for myself. It was so toxic yet.... so innovative
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Mar 10, 2019
    My doctor jutold me I produce too much testosterone which is a shot to my ego cause I always thought I had a lot of guy friends because they wanted to bone me but turns out I’ve just been one of the boys
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Oct 29, 2018
    Every night at 3am when I get off work I call my dad and I say “hey I’m walking alone to my car” and he says “okay got it” and stays on the phone with me. He’s never asked why I do that. He doesn’t have to. The fear is so engraved in our society that it’s not even a question
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Sep 30, 2018
    Perks of being a girl: sometimes a nice man will pay for your drink :) Cons of being a girl: living in constant fear of being literally murdered
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Aug 20, 2019
    “Drunk actions are sober thoughts” okay so you’re telling me I’d order 26 tacos sober??? yes I would that was a terrible example
  • user avatar
    the wicked witch of the east bro
    @kpfeffss
    Dec 19, 2018
    When I was in elementary school this girl bullied me because she had a club penguin membership and I didn’t and her penguin had a sweater and mine was naked and she just asked me to join her stupid hair product scam but don’t think I forgot about the sweater thing LAUREN