*working in pediatrics ER*
me: …and what brings you here today?
kid:
mom: go on honey you can tell the doctor
kid: i keep eating cookies till i throw up
mom: ok for the record that’s not why we are here but that is a problem
Josh Trebach, MD
21K posts
Josh Trebach, MD
@jtrebach
ER doc. Toxicologist. I like poisons. Show me ur cat. Posts/opinions/DMs = my own (not employer’s) & not medical advice. Contact: [email protected]☠️🏳️🌈
Mitochondria
Joined May 2014
- babe wake up your surgery isn’t done yet but we can’t afford anymore anesthesiaBlue Cross Blue Shield will no longer cover anesthesia for the full length of certain surgeries in Connecticut, New York, and Missouri. If a surgery exceeds a specific duration, anesthesia costs for the additional time will not be covered.
- my buddy told me he was on a plane and they were like “is there a doctor on board” and he was like “im a paramedic” and they were like “no it’s ok we found a DOCTOR” and the doctor was like “uhhh i haven’t examined a patient since med school can we please bring the paramedic”
- *working in pediatric ER* kid: *pointing* what are those wipes me: these are special wipes we use in the hospital to kill bacteria and viruses and keep surfaces clean 😊 kid: viruses aren’t technically alive so you can’t kill them kids mom: honey don’t embarrass the doctor
- *phone rings in middle of the night* me: *answers phone* hey this is josh with toxicology doc: hey josh we have a kid here with cyanosis, blue tongue, blue lips—uhh hold on a sec *whispering in background* me: ? doc: nvm they had a blue jolly rancher bye
- one time I was in the hospital elevator with a resident and then the elevator got stuck and I was like “omg we are going to die” and she was like “omg YES I needed this today” and sat down and started eating a granola bar
- if you’re at Thanksgiving and someone says their decision to not get vaccinated doesn’t affect anyone else, cut your slice of pie like this to demonstrate how that is very untrue
- if you post a video on social media making fun of your patients body fluids you deserve to be fired and never see patients ever again
- one time in college I took an exam thinking “wow this is way harder than I expected” and the professor walked by and gasped because she’d given me (AND ONLY ME??) an exam from a different course. Every hard exam since I was like IS IT HAPPENING AGAIN? IT CAN’T HAPPEN TWICE RIGHT?
- ETHICAL DILEMMA: both cats are meowing for you to come play with them but are in separate rooms and are watching you so they will know if you choose the other cat what do u do
- i can’t believe this needs to be said but if ur bit by a snake PLEASE don’t bring the snake to the ER with u
- I’m an ER doc…trust me when I say that someone WILL stick their penis in thisThe Laundry Jet is the first vacuum powered laundry chute that transports laundry from any room with ports installed, to the laundry room [read more: laundryjet.com]
00:00 - *phone rings in middle of the night* me: *answers phone* hey this is josh with toxicology doc: hi josh, I have a case I wanted t— my cat: 𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐖 doc: ……um do you have a cat me: would it be weird if I said no
- people in the Midwest are so nice someone in the bathroom was like “cocaine?” and I was like “I don’t have any” and they were like “no I’m sharing”
