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Z
@jaydbint
GP Apprentice/SHO/FY3. 100% legitimate doctor. Medical degree available to view on request. Tweets do not represent my employer.
Joined December 2014
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    @jaydbint
    Oct 15, 2020
    Dr: "So this is her chest X ray. What do you think?" Me: "It looks OK aside from the masses at the bottom of lungs." Dr: "2 huge masses on a woman's chest? What do you think they are?" Me: "They could be tumours but its bilateral so-". Dr: "Those are her breasts, Zayd" Me: "Oh"
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    @jaydbint
    Jul 28, 2020
    Dr: "Zayd you speak Urdu right? Me: "a little bit, but I'm not confid-" Dr: "Could you assess the patient's blood sugar control?" Me: "Aapke hoon main, kitne mitai hai (how many desserts do you have in your bloodstream?" Patient: "....kya (what)? I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN.
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    @jaydbint
    Mar 5, 2021
    During a late shift, I noticed that the hospital had a grand piano in the lobby. I was bored so I decided to play for a bit. After a while, a nurse walked up to me. She told me that the hospital was already depressing enough without "some idiot playing Greensleeves downstairs."
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    @jaydbint
    May 10, 2021
    Seeing that most of my followers are medics, let's talk about Razan al-Najjar. She was a Palestinian 20 year old medic. In June 2018 she ran to help a wounded man. She had her paramedic jacket on so she knew she'd be safe. She was wrong. An Israeli army sniper shot her anyway.
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    @jaydbint
    Aug 21, 2025
    Replying to @jaydbint
    I really hope that this was just a case of miscommunication between the patient and the person at the A+E reception that day and maybe they didn't read my letter. I only posted this because It's just scary to think that someone in A+E saw these symptoms and discharged them home.
    56K
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    @jaydbint
    May 4, 2022
    Me: "There's a consultant on the phone wondering why we didn't accept that referral?" Cons: "Because there's no clearly no gastro issue- wait who's calling?" Me: "The ED consultant" C: "Urgh fine, tell her we'll accept" Me: "Why?" C *annoyed*:"Because that consultant is my wife."
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    @jaydbint
    Nov 11, 2021
    Patient: "Your English is surprisingly good!" Me *laughing*: "What?" P: "No offense-" Me: "I mean, I did grow up in Yorkshire but yes my vocabulary has remained intact." P: "That's not what I meant." Me: "What did you mean?" *Awkward silence* P: "You know what, never mind."
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    @jaydbint
    Feb 7, 2022
    Reg: "How did things go with that cardiac arrest you saw?" Me: "How did you know I saw that cardiac arrest?" Reg *reading notes out loud*: "Arrived on scene to find patient in moderate distress and F1 Dr in severe distress shouting "I don't know what I'm doing" repeatedly."
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    @jaydbint
    Oct 6, 2020
    I attempted a handover yday: My FY1: "OK don't be nervous. Just do the same thing you've done in your OSCEs" Me: "OK" *I pick up the phone and dial for med reg* Me: "Hi I'm Zayd I'm the medical student can I just confirm your name and date of birth please?" Med Reg: "Excuse me?"
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    @jaydbint
    Dec 7, 2021
    Got threatened with a DATIX (complaint) today because one of the nurses walked into the doctors office and I was listening to "LoFi beats to study to" while doing paperwork (I was on my own and you couldn't hear it outside). I'm so tired. I don't really know what else to say.
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    @jaydbint
    May 31, 2022
    During a prostate exam today, the med student's phone went off. To my dismay, they'd chosen George Michael's "Careless Whisper" as their ringtone. I finished the exam and apologised profusely to the patient. He looked me in the eyes and replied "I'm never gonna dance again."
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    @jaydbint
    Aug 21, 2025
    Replying to @richard_morland
    I think triaging patients is completely fine in both GP and A+E but I think if non clinical staff are going to overrule a clinical decision they should check with a clinical staff member first. I'm sure they usually do, this is just a terrifying example of someone who didn't.
    53K
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    @jaydbint
    Jul 21, 2020
    "Sorry I haven't met you yet, what's your name?" "Oh hi! I'm Zayd" "Oh god I'm never gonna be able to pronounce that!" Really Karen? It's 1 syllable and pronounced exactly like it's spelt. Think AID with a Z in front of it. Genuinely people are scared of non-white names.
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    @jaydbint
    Jul 30, 2021
    Consultant: "Zayd how are those patient's notes coming along?" Me: "I'm struggling to read the handwriting tbh, it's a bit-" Cons "That's my handwriting..." *Silence* Me: "I'm sorry, I meant no offence. Could you just tell me what that says?" Cons *reading*: "...I don't know."