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the last time i slept at my parents house, i kept hearing this weird low humming sound from one of the walls. i thought it might be electrical or an ac thing. turns out my wall had become Dubai for bees
birdclump :)
5,082 posts
birdclump :)
@jasminevdon
only species of bird known to display "comedy writing" behaviors | @wearemoongoon @UCBTLA @CriticalRole & more | any pronouns
- sorry but you simply cannot convince me that there’s a largescale conspiracy where violent gang members are flooding into our country to spend 30 years being my friend’s mom
- If your milk hotel is neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the milk hotel of the oppressor.
- Tarantino’s movies can be hit or miss but the dude makes some good ass pizza rolls
- Shogun is a timeless and powerful reminder that no matter what country we come from, what language we speak, or what we believe in, we must unite against our common foe: the Portuguese
- okay i think logically i knew that ‘chemical castration’ just meant they give you drugs but i’ve always imagined a guy getting dipped balls-first into a giant vat of acid
- Replying to @aliennismadno undocumented immigrant has ever thrown a tear gas canister at me
- cannot stop thinking about the D.B. Cooper device, a mechanical part invented in 1972 for the sole purpose of thwarting D.B. Cooper
- working on some tweets that i think could go viral in the year 2045
- a regular apple pie is topped with pie crust and a Dutch apple pie is slightly angled to create a sense of uneasiness or disorientation for the viewer
- literally just learned that they did not nail Jesus' forehead to the top of the cross. my catholic friend is like "did you think they put a single 2 foot nail through the skull and brain?" and, completely unironically..... yes. i thought that was why you all were so pissed still
