Bro in cafe talking to his bro friends, verbatim: “Bro, come on, just don’t answer her. Put your phone down. Phones down, bros. It’s zen time. The bros are having some coffee together, we’re hanging out. Phones down. That icy goodness.”
Jake Bittle
27.3K posts
Jake Bittle
@jake_bittle
Staff writer @grist covering climate impacts • Writing book about Kern County for @simonbooks • jbittle at grist dot org • No longer really using Twitter
- The Nets have now acquired all three types of Brooklyn guy; a weirdly skinny guy, a guy with a huge beard, and a guy who’s obsessed with astrology and conspiracy theories.
- Half the stories the NYT does about non-New York places are like: "CLEVELAND—In a city known for a hardscrabble charm that borders on barbarism, the locals—auto workers, mostly, and diner waitresses—were greeted by a surprising sight last week: the city's first artist, ever."
- Great that we’ve gotten to a point where every night we brace ourselves for images of the police beating innocent people and every morning we brace ourselves to hear the mayor and the governor deny that the beatings ever happened.
- Replying to @jake_bittlePeople are saying this is wholesome—it wasn't. Later I discovered the girl was trying to get in touch with the bro because he had the keys to her apartment. He answered the phone and angrily denied that he was hanging out with his friends. Men still suck.
- An octogenarian half-blind senator dissecting a gored pigeon in the middle of Iowa while the entire world waits for his opinion on an arcane question of judicial procedure is the kind of thing the Coen Brothers have spent their whole careers trying to make up
- Accidentally was the first person to enter the reopened New York Public Library main branch
- Replying to @jake_bittleLike so many police departments, the NYPD has gone rogue. It is not accountable to the people it serves or the politicians who oversee it. None of the department’s decisions tonight can be justified on the grounds of public safety—none. Enough is enough.
- Replying to @jake_bittleWhile thousands of protesters were trapped on a bridge, the NYPD shot someone in Crown Heights. This is what the mayor had to say about the situation as a whole.At Barclays Center now. Very calm situation. So far, the curfew is certainly helping, based on everything I’ve seen in Brooklyn and Manhattan over the last three hours.
- EXCLUSIVE from me for @guardian: Court documents allege that postmaster general Louis DeJoy forged bank accounts and concealed paperwork to oust his brother from the family’s logistics empire.
- More than 80 confirmed cases. No masks or hand sanitizer. Understaffed stations working overtime. This is the reality at post offices around the country: an essential service is breaking down just when we need it most. New from me in @thenation:
- The other night I did some investigative reporting of my own about these fireworks. I went out of my building, walked up to the kids who were lighting them, and said hello. You'll never believe this, but they live on my block and bought the fireworks because they were bored.
