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I’m roasting garlic in the oven. My 13 year old thinks it smells like weed. I can relax now, confident that my youngest child has never smoked weed.
natalayhehoo
42.6K posts
natalayhehoo
@highprobably1
MEH
- Out of an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship with an narcissist after 15 years 🙌🏻
- If I have to switch from the heat to the ac one more time this week, I’m pretty sure it’s going to open a portal to another dimension.
- Replying to @DemocracyDfendrAt least she’s not smoking shit then
- In my defense, they weren’t called ‘tramp stamps’ when I got one
- Just heard someone asking for directions in a gas station like our forefathers
- My ex told me it was inappropriate for me to wear shorts after I turned 39. I wear the shortest ones I can find now 💅🏻
- I’m pretty gangsta for a white woman in my 40s
- Just once, when a man asks me what I like to do for fun, I’m going to respond “masturbate”.
- My gag reflex is on point
- I’m too pretty to be this single
- “Divorce sucks”, yeah, but you know what DOESN’T suck? Doing everything on your own when he said there was no way in hell you could.
- Dudes in my dms saying I’m “stunning” and “gorgeous”. Dudes in real life say, “excuse me, ma’am, you’re blocking the way to all the cheese.”
