My landlord is obsessed w rent that was due literally weeks ago ? Move on babe
cancela lansbury
14K posts
cancela lansbury
@gossipbabies
- Companies be like “ Now more than ever , we will let you buy our product”
- Your fiancé gets kidnapped in a foreign country. You stay out till 2 am searching w authorities but eventually you have to call it and return to your hotel. Do you still do your skincare routine y/n
- October… the Thursday of the year. Slutty but intellectual
- So Twitter is Instagram now and Instagram is a mall . What’s next Amazon is the state ?? Wait
- Kayleigh McEnany teighsts poseightyve for Coveighd-19
- Left: abolish the police Liberals: we’ll rename the Pentagon the Maya Angelou War Center
- Just heard an elder lesbian explain how in the 70s lesbians would cruise (!) at Riis beach and the older butches would bring huge shopping bags then take a young femme into the bathroom stall and have her stand IN THE BAG so cops would only see one set of legs in the stall
- Tik Tok that’s moralizing about something but the text is missing
00:00 - Working at any office is like “Ok we’re transitioning to Salarya, but payroll is still in Bullfrog—did you see my Noosecock post? Submit your timecard on Fireplayce then jizz me on Smackdog . Do NOT upload to Crackerz without Yammer approval
- I say this every four years but I would much rather watch a First Ladies debate. Melania would be like I’m the most beautiful woman in America and I won’t be ashamed of my body and Doug Emhoff would be like I defended the Taco Bell chihuahua in court
- The year is 2028. You’ve been off Lexapro for 3 years and finally have abs. You pay $800/yr for TSA Life+, which promises your plane won’t crash. Your Turkish hair transplant went awry and you wake up every day with a bloody scalp. Your son is illiterate. Life is good.
- Foot masseuse told me I looked like one of the guys in Gladiator 2 and I was like oh Paul Mescal ?? And she was like “no the guy who is in charge of everything ”
