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@elle91
Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yael
Chicago, IL
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Joined December 2008
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    @elle91
    Oct 13, 2022
    IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS IF YOU WOULD STILL LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM, JUST SAY YES. SHE WILL NEVER BE A WORM. YOU WILL NEVER ACTUALLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT. BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE GIRLFRIEND WHO THINKS YOU WOULDN'T LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM AND SHE IS MAD
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    @elle91
    Jan 20, 2022
    The anxious urge to say "no worries either way" when you are actually worrying both ways plus a secret third way
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    @elle91
    May 29, 2018
    THEY PUT OUR SCHOOL'S THERAPY DOG IN THE YEARBOOK
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    @elle91
    Jul 31, 2025
    In high school, I was complaining about how long the school day was and my teacher turned to me and said, "the days are long, but the years are short" and I was like "what the fuck are you talking about you lunatic" and then the bell rang and now I'm in my 30s.
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    @elle91
    Feb 20, 2024
    I almost crashed my car for this. the least you can do is zoom in
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    @elle91
    Sep 25, 2023
    My favorite ever nonverbal interaction was the time a mom was pointing to my window, excitedly showing her daughter the 3 kittens that were sitting and looking out. We made eye contact, and she looked briefly embarrassed before I reached down next to me and held up a 4th kitten
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    @elle91
    Feb 2, 2024
    I always thought that people hated pineapple on pizza because it's spicy until I learned that pineapple is not spicy to most people and I am in fact allergic to pineapple.
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    @elle91
    Nov 30, 2022
    And there I was, at 21, broken that I'd never hear my sister laugh again. I held her limp hand, my eyes playing cruel tricks as I swore I saw her breathe. In that moment, all I could think about was the lava cake we'd bake together. For this recipe, you'll need a double boiler.
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    @elle91
    Jan 21, 2019
    Me going to explain something I literally learned about 5 minutes ago
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    @elle91
    Dec 16, 2019
    When my therapist asks how my anxiety level has been
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    @elle91
    Nov 2, 2024
    Me: [Has never touched cocaine] Me every time I'm at the airport: Oh no what if I accidentally packed a lot of cocaine
    930K
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    @elle91
    Mar 26, 2024
    It's wild how many grown adults complain about being in debt. Like, it's not hard. I have zero debt in my early 30s, all because I've worked since I was 16, I don't spend money on things I don't need, and my great great grandfather invented doors.
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    @elle91
    May 3, 2019
    When the depression hits hard but you remember the importance of proper hydration
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    @elle91
    May 1, 2024
    Sometimes I will do a very simple self-care thing like putting lotion on my hands before bed and be like "that was so easy, I will do this every day" and then forget that I even have hands for the next 6 years.
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