Pinned
My dentist asked how school was and I said “great” because that’s much easier than “oh I actually dropped out because I’ve effectively monetized a twitter account where I numerically objectify dogs”
matt
29.8K posts
matt
@dogfather
head human for @dog_rates and @dog_feelings, currently working on @15outof10 | inquiries: [email protected]
- oh thank god. for a second I thought we had a national gun violence problem. all this 12 year old did was drop her backpack with a semiautomatic handgun in it. happens to the best countriesPolice do not believe yesterday's shooting at a Los Angeles middle school was intentional: A 12-year-old girl dropped her backpack, which contained a semiautomatic handgun, and it discharged, wounding 2 students. latimes.com/local/lanow/la…
- couldn’t stop thinking about these penguins enjoying the Melbourne skyline together so i found the original photographer and apparently they’re BOTH WIDOWED i can’t handle it
- sorry i forgot to text you back i also forgot to eat today if that makes you feel better
- it actually fucking sucks that people are interpreting covid data as “we overreacted” instead of “the things science told us to do have worked so far”
- today i opened this app to learn more about breaking news and it was impossible. for the first time in like 8 years, google was more effective than twitter at telling me what was happening
- If you start watching Shrek on December 31st at 11:48.48, Donkey saying “i’m makin waffles” will be perfectly synced with the switch from 2017 to 2018 at midnight. Which is a great way to end and start the year. 🐴
- i think an overlooked additional piece of joy from this game is that we haven’t had to see Harrison Butker’s dumb ass one time
- this is the most chaotically graceful fall i’ve ever seenThis is Piper. She was having a lovely day playing in the pool until it all went horribly, horribly wrong. Still 13/10
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