Told my doctor I was depressed and he asked me if I’d thought about killing myself. Hell of a piece of medical advice but here goes nothing
Darth Erogenous
5,109 posts
Darth Erogenous
@darth_erogenous
eating
- Women Posting Their Ws Account: 24 years old, sober, graduated MIT, and made a sourdough pizza today that looks like a Van Gogh painting. Yeah, I'm thinking my antiques blog is gonna take off Men Posting Their W's Account: this guy I didn't know just helped me catch a lizard
- {shaking head at book I’m reading} They stole all this from the dictionary
- Rastafarian guy in the sauna this morning was telling me I should be making my own honey. “Anyone can buy a bee”, he said. I nodded, taking it to heart. There was a 10 second pause, after which a Polish bodybuilder in the corner interjected: “you need more bee”
- Androgynous people are sort of like if a guy and a girl had a baby
- Love drinking water in bed without sitting up, where the liquid sort of sits at the bottom of your oesophagus and you almost throw up or die. It’s just one of those things I can’t imagine Obama doing
- You may be alone on Valentine’s Day but at least youre not addicted to your phone or feeling lost in your life generally
- I will always shoot the messenger. He shouldn’t have told me that
- The children who bully me at the bus stop use so many logical fallacys its insane
- I'm filled with joy when I see the "baby on board" sign attached to the car in front of mine, but sadness washes over me when I realise the car is a hearse. Only when I notice that it's being driven by a baby do I begin to have mixed feelings
- someone DMed me years ago to let me know they got this doodle of mine tattooed on their body indefinitely
- ORC KENDRICK: I craft my blade i try to slay mistakes i made. you aint been underground like me. you aint laid out of sin like me. Green skin, dollar tint, dick long, money spent {Soulful beat switch} These caves dont hold secrets.. ELF DRAKE: How I always lose U in these woods
- BEAUTIFUL WOMAN: What's your name? {trying to be mysterious} I don't know
