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sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
@cottoncandaddy
writer, editor, marketing-er, sales-er◦ former editor at @funnyordie ◦ nehiyaw ◦ canadian ◦ any pronouns
Tongva Land (Los Angeles)
sloanehughes.journoportfolio.com
Born April 22, 1995
Joined August 2017
1,407
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123.9K
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Jul 28, 2025
    Hi everyone, my parents learned earlier this month that Zeppelin has cancer. If you’re able to donate to help fund his operations and treatments or if you could share this fundraiser I would appreciate it so, so, so much.
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Feb 20, 2021
    zeppelin carries the biggest sticks he can carry through the forest and leaves them in a big stash at the path entrance. don't ask questions
    Donate to Zeppelin’s Cancer Fund, organized by Sloane Hughes
    From gofundme.com
    79K
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Mar 17, 2020
    my favourite consequence of the covid-19 societal lockdown is aquarium penguins roaming around freely and when this is all over I for one welcome them as our new overlords
    Two Oceans Aquarium
    00:00
    Two Oceans Aquarium
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Feb 16, 2022
    my dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Apr 3, 2022
    I just learned that if a hermit crab finds a new shell that is too big it will wait for other hermit crabs who need new shells to gather and then they will organize themselves by size and trade shells and I am pissed that the crabs have a better housing market than we do
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Mar 2, 2021
    I don't want to work 5 days a week and figure out what to cook for dinner everyday I want to lie on a rock in the sun like a lizard
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Oct 21, 2021
    whose what are now what
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    Earther
    @EARTH3R
    Oct 21, 2021
    Pablo Escobar's Cocaine Hippos Are Legally People, Court Rules dlvr.it/SB1cJ2
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Jul 17, 2018
    starbucks: we’ve banned plastic straws! me: oh hell yes starbucks: yeah we’ve got these cool new lids instead me: what are they made of starbucks: plastic me: starbucks: me: starbucks: wait shit
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Apr 30, 2018
    drunk girls at bars: ok, listen britney, it is britney right? ok listen britney. you. are a GODDESS. you're too good for any man. I love you and your cute top drunk guys at bars: did you just fuckin breathe on me? fuckin breathe on me again bro gimme a reason to knock you out
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Dec 23, 2019
    when I was 19 I was in a long line for some bar in cheap shoes and a heel snapped off and I was so upset and had no idea what to do and this guy behind me left the fuckin line to buy gorilla glue so I could fix my shoe. idk who or where he is but I hope he’s living a great life
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Jun 30, 2020
    one night in 5th grade when my dad came home at the usual time of like 11pm I overheard him say to my mom “I am going to be working until the fucking day I die” so I tried to give my classmate’s dolls makeovers for 25¢ because I didn’t want my parents to worry about money anymore
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    Kim Kardashian
    @KimKardashian
    Jun 29, 2020
    Meet North’s Freesian horse. We have 14 gorgeous Freesians on the ranch.
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Jan 18, 2020
    if the gun girl tried to interview me when she shoved the microphone in my face I would simply put my entire mouth around it and refuse to let go
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Mar 26, 2021
    PLEAse
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Mar 23, 2018
    I don’t work for this guy anymore but enjoy these text conversations between me and my old boss
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    sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩
    @cottoncandaddy
    Jan 14, 2020
    being into straight men is surreal. one time a few years ago I had a guy over for dinner and he asked to help cook so I told him to halve the cauliflower and when I looked over he was literally trying to rip it apart. with his bare hands. most insane thing I've ever witnessed