Pinned
alien: these are your ancestors?? lmfaooo 💀😂😂
[shows me a video of a monkey jumpin around goin ooh ooh ah ah]
me: [getting really defensive] that was a long time ago. turn that off
cory
2,717 posts
cory
@coolmathgame_
suck my Big Stupid Ass
College Station, TX
Joined April 2021
- doctor: do you smoke or drink me: yes doctor: ok me: are u mad at me
- [during sex] her: choke me me: [a really great guy] no
- [my gf actually turns into a worm] me: oh my god. it’s ok, i’ll still go out with you my worm gf: [sees a cool worm wearing a leather jacket] i think we should see other people
- i hate old people man. “i was in the war” congratulations. i’m gonna be in the next one and they have laser beams now
- the riddler: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it? batman: i am going to beat the shit out of you and put you in jail
- how was she married to 100 people
- if i was getting eaten by a bear i would get a pet in real quick
- pilot: we’ll be landing shortly passengers: ok pilot: on the moon passengers: what pilot: i went too high
- i did it. i pretended that air planes in the night sky were like shooting stars and it was fucking insane
- woke up 25 today, frontal lobe fully developed.. my brain finally feels whole and it has allowed me to come to the crystal clear realization that there is nothing left for me
