user avatar
Chris D'Elia
@chrisdelia
Twitter is free. You want good shit, pay for it. chrisdelia.com
Joined December 2008
Posts
  • user avatar
    At least when my career dies you can film it and put it on YouTube.
    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ im laughing cuz now i know why your comedy career took a dive
  • user avatar
    So weird a guy ate a bat halfway across the world and now I can’t go to the gym.
  • user avatar
    Thanks, how does it feel to have your name finally attached to something funny?
    ... but not gonna lie this single tweet is funnier than your entire netflix special
  • user avatar
    Not only will I wear nike w adidas I will ALSO wear a puma hat AND a Reebok tennis skirt fuck all this shit.
    or adidas pants with Nike’s πŸ˜‚
  • user avatar
    Imagine thinking she ACTUALLY was so secretly racist that THIS was the time she was like β€œFuck it. I gotta say the N word.” Anyone who thinks she REALLY said it is a fuckin straight up moron.
    Earlier today, while reporting on the tragic news of Kobe Bryant’s passing, I unfortunately stuttered on air, combining the names of the Knicks and the Lakers to say β€œNakers.” Please know I did not & would NEVER use a racist term. I apologize for the confusion this caused.
  • user avatar
    These people are absolute dogshit lol.
    😱#Florida spring-breakers: β€œIf I get #corona, I get corona....I’m not going to let it stop me from parting.” #Coronavirus β€œis really messing up my spring break.” β€œThis virus ain’t that serious.” We’re β€œtrying to get drunk before everything closes.”
    00:00
    Tim Hogan
  • user avatar
    You are mad someone is making fun of your girls name and you named her β€œAbcde”? What did you... think... was... gonna... happen...
  • user avatar
    Hey just wait to do a tiktok until everything is okay
  • user avatar
    This guy asks for a picture. Dwight Howard was nice enough to take it with him. Then this asshole finds out Dwight Howard is gay and uses the picture to slur him because of that. This is the worst kind of asshole.
  • user avatar
    Maybe like a scientist or a doctor probably.
    .@Caitlyn_Jenner or @KimKardashian: Who should be TIME's Person of the Year? #TIMEPOY ti.me/1XKSn0I
  • user avatar
    I’m not sorry for any of the jokes I’ve ever made in my life. I don’t give a fuck what you think about it. Figure your own shit out if your feelings are hurt. πŸ˜€
  • user avatar
    There’s no age that you can’t be be sexy.
  • user avatar
    Honestly? I can’t believe people would care about this EITHER way. If someone called it a holiday tree. Who. Absolutely. Gives a shit? It matters zero. Call it a fuckin Subaru I don’t give a shit.
    This is a Christmas Tree that is used by people celebrating Christmas πŸŽ„ This is not a holiday tree.
  • user avatar
    I didn’t know you were following me or even that you existed until you tweeted this. But honestly it sucks now that I have to quit the business. Let me know if you ever change your mind and start following me again so I can absolutely keep making fucking millions of dollars.
    Replying to @chrisdelia
    Honestly unfollowing you for this.