husband: "if i killed someone, would you tell on me?"
me: "of course not... but i'd definitely use it against you. like, 'are you washing the dishes or do i need to dial 911?'
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4,647 posts
- we need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous
- hearing a man say “i was going to” is such a turn off because 1. you didn’t 2. you’re lying 3. and now i’m bored
- "are you busy tomorrow?" my dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you're about to give me
- isolation the most goated coping mechanism i love talking to no one and losing my mind alone
- normalize using words like: colleague, classmate, acquaintance, old school mate, neighbor, client. not everyone is your friend
- what's it called when ur delusional but self aware
- self-sabotage is also: - not asking for help - rejecting praise - isolating yourself when hurt - saying "yes" to everything - putting your needs on hold - procrastinating on important tasks - watching too much news - trying to be perfect
- "when i was your age, i survived a pandemic and didn't leave my house for 2 years. you'll be ok if you don't go out tonight" will be my favorite line i'll use on my future kids
- asian career option: 1. doctor 2. engineer 3. lawyer 4. DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY im currently number 4
- "outfit repeater" you mean wearing my clothes????? that i own???? bought to wear more than 1 single time ever???
- using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure
- the phrase “to be loved is to be worth the inconvenience” really radicalized me because i find it so true whenever i think of my friends
- laughing w ur parents is such a precious moment