carter hambley
8,123 posts
carter hambley
@carterhambley
comedian. writer. full of shrapnel
- when twins arent identical im like ok then what was the point of all that
- being 21 without a drivers license is one of the bravest things u can do in america. oh you’re a nurse? i had to look my mom in the eyes and ask to go to walmart
- why did elementary schools just occasionally bring in a dude with a big snake. who was that man. what were his credentials
- damn the taco bell worker said he knows i’m high and won’t give me my quesadilla until i solve a riddle
- so apparently it’s still a dui even if youre the birthday boy
- let kim kardashian ruin more artifacts. let her drive the jfk car into a swamp. eat ribs over the dead sea scrolls. she’s the reverse indiana jones
