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bert kreischer
44.2K posts
I am the Machine | Free Bert streaming now on @netflix | Permission to Party on sale now | #MakeFriends with @porososvodka | Text me: (323)208-0844
- This is who I want next to me at an airport bar at 6 am
- This is a fun game - who is the most famous person to block you?
- I’d put a fried egg on pussy if my wife would let me.@bertkreischer put a fried egg on my chili and it was a game changer.
00:00- I’m down 40 pounds. I haven’t had alcohol or sugar in 83 days. I’ve been primarily carnivore. That all ends TODAY. We set sail in 4 hours on the #FullyLoadedCruise
- 🚨MY PHONE ISN’T WORKING!!!🚨 Can someone PLEASE let @KFCBarstool and @FeitsBarstool know that their flight leaves in TWENTY FOUR HOURS in their tickets are in their inbox!!!!
00:00 - A LEGEND in the making!!!
00:00 - IT’S HERE!!! And YOU guys made this happen!! Here is the OFFICIAL trailer for #TheMACHINEmovie. You can grab your tickets NOW for May 25th with a special LIVE pre show at TheMachine.Movie. See you all MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND
00:00 - LAST 1st day of school and I can’t stop crying - to all the parents out there who are losing their minds trying to get shoes on a kindergartner today, take a second and enjoy the chaos - one day you’ll miss it.














