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Dan Baltic
71.8K posts
Dan Baltic
@baltic_dan
Author of NUTCRANKR: a.co/d/05qNA5RV
Publisher @newritualpress
Co-Host @NewWritePod
Baltic State: danbaltic.substack.com
POV: you’re about to lose your virginity to your best friend’s mom on a family ski trip
- “You went a little overboard there, didn’t you, JD?” “Sir, I didn’t— “No, no, don’t tell me about it. I don’t wanna know the details”
- I HATE people who owe me money. As a business owner, I didn’t entirely expect this, but when people owe you money you very quickly start to hate them. And all of the stuff the mafia did to deadbeats immediately makes sense and in fact seems lenient
- For less than $17,000, you can buy a house in East Cleveland and wage an all-out war against the crackheads and gangster element in your neighborhood. The American Frontier is alive and well
- Are they saying “K1ll the Boer, k1ll the white farmer?” No, no, they’re saying they want to have a nuanced discussion about land reform
- Male orgasm: you are now free from the bonds of desire. Science and philosophy await Female orgasm: goo-goo gah-gah, I’m a baby
- The more you learn about history, the more you realize that WW1 was essentially fatal. Like a car accident that causes debilitating injuries to which the victim ultimately succumbs
- POV: you’re a Viking advancing along Stamford bridge until this guy appears and says “Pack it in, mate”
- “Now that it’s all over, just admit it. Just admit that you were born over there”
- You can buy an entire *house* in East St Louis for $30,000 and defend it from attackers 24/7, like a medieval knight owing fealty to an insane king. This is the land of opportunity
- Elon doesn’t build the rockets himself! He has workers. He’s fooled you again
- Trump’s new press Secretary is a WOULD
Readers added context they thought people might want to knowReaders added contextTrump’s Press Secretary is Karoline Leavitt. The woman in the photo is Sydney Thomas. foxnews.com/politics/trump…
