I think the biggest misconception people have about me is they believe that because I DISH it I can TAKE it.
I cannot. I will cry. Privately, yes, but I will cry.
Andr3w
26 posts
- Call it a rebellious streak but nobody - and I mean nobody - tells me what to do. Unless you’re, like, dressed up as a sexy nun or teacher or fire marshal or something like that. Then it’s fine.
- Do a favor for someone and people really be like “I don’t know how to thank you for this…” bitch I have every mobile payment app ever made
- 8 months later and I still stand by this with all my heart all my soul all my everything
00:00 - You have to understand: people aren’t born petty. Being petty is a choice. And I choose it every day.
- Can’t believe we just let Hamlet get away with having a name like that. Dude’s named like he’s a character in Babe, Pig in the City and we let it slide? Gonna order the Hamlet at Denny’s. Bacon sounding mf. We could roast him, bet he’d smell delicious
- Every time I go to Chipotle I ask them to put the cheese directly on the meat/rice so it melts. I do this because I am the change I want to see in the world
- 👏🏼normalize👏🏼elective👏🏼comas👏🏼 I haven’t felt well rested since 2009 😩
- maybe if we forego the $36,000 LG OLEDs we could pay teachers more but idk
00:00 - This holiday season remember: if you hear “ho ho ho” that’s Santa and you’re safe. But if you hear “YO ho ho”, that’s a pirate and you should run. Knowing the difference could save your life.
- Just finished up Arcane aka bi panic: ✨the show✨. I can say it’s v good and you know it’s good because I was actually tempted to play League of Legends for a moment
- Replying to @andr3wskyObviously it would be weird to write it, and weird to like bookmark the link or whatever. But if you’re out here writing incongruous erotic fan fiction with a decidedly un-erotic protagonist, I. Will. Read. That. Shit.
- hello is there where I go to complain
- Imma be honest, the Last Week Tonight Ted Cruz fan-fic data mining honey pot ad is not the gotcha they think it is. I’m clicking that link 9 times out of 10