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Why Abandonment Hurts So Much and How to Heal
It’s not just about being left.
It’s the feeling of being unseen, unloved, unworthy.
Here’s why it hurts so deeply—
and how you can begin to heal. 🧵
Amy | Wellness Alchemist
11.4K posts
Amy | Wellness Alchemist
@amydoublet
Reduce anxiety, overwhelm, chronic stress and heal shame. | Somatic Experiencing | I've helped 1000s, liberation is possible | 30 yrs experience Regulation⤵️
- Ghosting = Not having the skills to have a difficult conversation. Coupled with shame. ✨
- "Abandonment is the most devastating emotional trauma." – Gabor Maté It teaches us to fear closeness, question our worth, and carry shame. But healing is possible. Start by: Creating inner safety Rewriting your story Nurturing yourself daily You are enough. ✨
- 😔 Shutting down, hiding, and isolating—these are coping mechanisms tied to the fawn response. They stem from a fear of rejection or punishment for being your true self. ✨
- Replying to @buitengebiedenWhat fantastic impulse control that little guy has!
- 💔 The fawn response is deeply rooted in shame. It says, "I am not enough as I am, so I must become what you want me to be." This belief can lead to a life that feels empty and unfulfilling. ✨
- Calm is NOT the same as regulated You can be “calm” and shut down in a functional freeze state. Completely dysregulated. Calm + Regulated = Resilient ✨
- 🛡️ The fawn response is about avoiding conflict by pleasing others. It’s a learned survival strategy, often developed in unsafe or emotionally volatile environments. Understanding it is crucial to reclaiming your true self. ✨
- 1/ 🧵 Nervous system healing is a brave journey, and every step you take is transformative—even when it feels challenging. Let’s dive into the fascinating dance of expansion and contraction in this healing process.👇
- 1/ I Changed My Life by Listening to My Body Instead of My Willpower For years, I lived by the rules of "push through," "think positive," and "hustle harder." It didn’t work. I still felt stuck, anxious, and disconnected. Then I tried something different: listening to my body.
- 🧵1/ Understanding the Fawn Response: The Silent Struggle to Please. Most people know about the fight, flight, and freeze responses. But have you heard of the fawn response? 👇🏼
- Replying to @amydoublet3/ Abandonment leaves wounds that show up in subtle ways: Overthinking every text or call. Pulling away because closeness feels too risky. Saying yes when you mean no, just to keep the peace. Sound familiar?
- 🎭 When you fawn, you hide your true self, presenting a facade that’s acceptable to others. Over time, this can lead to isolation, disconnection, and a loss of identity. Who are you behind all the identifications? ✨
- 1/ 🧵 Healing isn't always a straight path. Sometimes, out of nowhere, grief hits you hard. You might think, "Why now? Everything was going well!" But here's the truth: that grief is actually a sign of progress in your healing journey. Let me explain.