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Amy Solomon
2,460 posts
Amy Solomon
@amybethsol
- When something says it needs 2 minutes in the microwave but 40 minutes in the oven it does make you think a little bit about wtf is going down in the microwave
- Almost every movie is called Deep Water
- Sometimes CVS doesn’t give a shit about when you pick up your prescription but other times they’re like IF U DONT COME RIGHT NOW WE WILL SET IT ON FIRE
- Happy Monday! This is the week that my ex boyfriend and his girlfriend are choosing to move in directly next door to me! I’m simply thrilled.
- Lunch is for gossip, dinner is for complaining
- When you go somewhere new, ask your boyfriend to guess the population. Boys love to guess the population!
- Today a woman stole a bunch of car keys from an auto body shop and then punched a mechanic and ran away, and the auto body guy chased her down to my boyfriend’s yard where she was pretending that she lived there and WAS WATERING HIS PLANTS
- When my dad sends my call to voicemail it’s like okay, why did you have me then
- Got stopped by TSA on the way back from Seattle for something suspicious in our suitcase. It was… our Ichiro nesting doll. One of the best moments of my life to watch them open it to find two smaller Ichiros
- Can you die of Small Talk at the Beginning of a Conference Call?
- In excellent news, at age 30, my boyfriend has just learned that garbanzo beans and chickpeas are one in the same. He says he “had his suspicions” though
- I bought this at an estate sale and a guy in line goes “oh cool what is that” and I was like “I guess a mixed media piece?” and he goes “you love saying ‘mixed media’” and I was like ok well ur a complete stranger but…..yes
