Log inSign up
Contessa
879 posts
user avatar
Contessa
@abelian_groupie
Funnier than AI… for now!
San Francisco
Joined October 2022
1,286
Following
2,294
Followers

New to X?

Sign up now to get your own personalized timeline!

Create account

By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, including Cookie Use.

Terms·Privacy·Cookies·Accessibility·Ads Info·© 2026 X Corp.
Don't miss what's happening
People on X are the first to know.
Log inSign up
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    May 6, 2025
    The girl should not pay for a date. The guy shouldn’t pay either. Instead, they should initiate a SPV domiciled offshore (to mitigate regulatory scrutiny) and issue tranched, zero-coupon, inverse-floating rate notes, collateralized by an underlying basket of weather derivatives,
    370K
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Mar 17, 2025
    Just heard an SF guy tell his gf his bodycount is just his pretraining data
    313K
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Nov 18, 2022
    I worked at Spacex (briefly! A long time ago!) and there was free frozen yogurt with toppings. When the froyo line got long, like 10 ppl, Elon would fire the people in line 😂
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    May 16, 2025
    I am 1/4 asian. When I tell people this, I am admitting my grandpa had yellow fever and my dad had yellow fever. Literally (WMAF)^2
    37K
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Oct 26, 2022
    I have met multiple girls who only date AI researchers
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Nov 16, 2022
    I was just added to one of these ‘Are we dating the same guy’ closed fb groups in NYC. eyes *popping* out of my head
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Mar 28, 2023
    I got a job! After getting laid off 11 months ago and 5.1 billion rejections. Research scientist!!!
    33K
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Apr 11, 2023
    Replying to @thechosenberg
    they are taller so less pain per square foot
    7.2K
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Oct 26, 2022
    adhd people are naturally biased towards determinism. They do not have much direct experience with the illusion of free will
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    May 8, 2023
    Happy virginity (to those who celibate)
    17K
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Mar 1, 2023
    When I worked at Tinder the son of the richest indian american who was also a VP was like "why do all these girls on my app look like dogs" and it was my job to fix it
    27K
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Nov 17, 2022
    Replying to @abelian_groupie
    It’s a huge privacy violation. So happy that guys don’t have the gender solidarity to create a 60k size group for what is essentially yelp for tinder dates! Someone will post their match before they even meet to see if he is talking to other girls
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Nov 17, 2022
    Replying to @abelian_groupie
    I saw a friend on there and he has no idea that 60k nyc girls are familiar with the intimate details of his courting failures like… do I tell him??? Is this the future?
  • user avatar
    Contessa
    @abelian_groupie
    Jul 2, 2023
    This feels like a test...
    65K