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Aaron Reynolds
@aaronreynolds
Definitely not the children's author. I write @effinbirds. Buy my new playing cards: eatf.art
Toronto, Ontario
eatf.art
Joined July 2008
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Nov 12, 2021
    I was thinking about the most offensive job offer I have ever received, that I never tweeted about because they had me sign an NDA before we talked about it. But I just went back and read the NDA and it says I was supposed to be paid for my time and I never was, so…
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Jun 23, 2020
    I’ve started a new evening ritual: I leave all my technology inside except my Walkman, and I get into the hammock in the back yard and listen to an album from start to finish. My cat has been curious about this new habit, and I’ve been trying to coax him into the hammock —
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Nov 12, 2021
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    Anyways that’s the story of the time I ghosted Netflix
  • user avatar
    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Jan 9, 2019
    This is what it’s like to get texts from my fourteen year old while driving.
    00:00
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Jun 23, 2020
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    Yes, I came home from an eye exam and they put in the drops where you can’t see for a few hours and I thought I was letting in the cat but I let in a groundhog who ate all the cat food and wouldn’t leave. He came back to the door every day for a week and I never told my wife why.
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Jun 23, 2020
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    I have just invited a raccoon into the hammock with me and the raccoon has obliged.
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Nov 12, 2021
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    I dunno man, some highly paid executives are pretty sure I’m only worth $200 a week
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Nov 13, 2021
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    holy shit my DMs from people who also didn’t take this job I feel like Netflix thought there were people out there who watched a lot of Netflix and who were already tweeting funny things “for free” who would be thankful to get any money at all for what they were already doing.
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Nov 13, 2021
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    I went to Sheridan College for photography, and the most valuable part of that program for me was learning to value my time, in a professional sense. There was an instructor named Peter who drilled into us that the only thing that mattered was the cost of our time —
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Jun 23, 2020
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    The raccoon is outside in what I assume is now his hammock. I am inside on the couch with ice on my groin because I definitely pulled something.
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Nov 12, 2021
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    I got to wondering what cartoon I wrote after I received the email with the $200-a-week offer (because what I always do to cope with frustration is make a cartoon). So I checked the date stamps on the emails and then looked up what I posted the next day. Checks out.
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    Effin' Birds
    @EffinBirds
    Jun 2, 2018
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Nov 13, 2021
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    — and that if we discounted it we were not just screwing ourselves, but every other photographer out there by driving prices down.
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Jun 23, 2020
    Replying to @aaronreynolds
    The raccoon stares at me for a while. Like, “you invited me up here, now what” Now what indeed
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    Aaron Reynolds
    @aaronreynolds
    Mar 30, 2020
    This is 100% the setup to a horror movie. theinformation.com/articles/pande…