Adriana Porter Felt
33.7K posts
Adriana Porter Felt
@__apf__
I like writing silly Tweets, but that doesn't pay so I build things at @googledeepmind. Principal Engineer. ex-@googlechrome. volunteer @2ndharvest. 🇺🇸🇨🇷
- I put a wooden bench on the sidewalk strip outside my home. Dozens of people sit here throughout the day because I live at the top of a very steep hill. particularly older people who need to catch their breath. The city just sent me a notice ordering me to remove it
- overheard a teenaged girl ask her dad to explain what started World War II. he tried to play it cool but I could see it in his eyes, this was the moment he'd been waiting for for fifteen years
- new neighbor moved in, a lady in her 80s. met her two sweet dogs this morning, named.... Houston and Houston. one is pronounced like Houston, TX and the other is pronounced like Houston St. I asked her why and she said, deadpan, "to stir shit up". I live for it
- I try to ask my child questions instead of directly telling him things. I guess he's picked up on it because yesterday a little voice from the back asked me "mama, what is the speed limit here?" and when I failed to take action he followed up patiently, "is 68 bigger than 65?"
- I know I'd been warned, but I think Airbnb is over for me -- a host is angry with us because we didn't *vacuum*. mind you, we paid a $185 cleaning fee, stripped the beds, and took the trash to the local trash center
- Replying to @__apf__against my better judgement, here's the illegal bench in question. please do not come to my house lol
- Replying to @__apf__It is not in anyone's way; many people thank me for it; it does not block car doors opening nor does it have any impact on wheelchair accessibility. They did not state any reason for the order.
- after ordering a sandwich to go, the guy asked me if I wanted some "walking bacon." this was three strips of bacon separate from the sandwich, for me to eat while I walked away with the wrapped sandwich in my other hand. this is genius. all stores need walking bacon
- When we bought our house they tried to sell us their piano for $10k, $5k, free, then tried to give us money to take it, then we had to get our realtor to insist they take it
- my husband has been taking sailing lessons and instead of putting it on our calendar like a normal person he prefers to stand up abruptly, stare out the window, and proclaim "I must go to the sea!"
- Replying to @__apf__Updates: 1) This is because someone complained about the bench, for unspecified reasons. 2) The city has given me an extension in order to see if I can get a permit. I think this is reasonable.
- honored to help my son with his first business foray today. we turned a barrel of lemons, honey, three hours of work, and $80 of change into $47 (net -$33)
- Replying to @Maladroithethis is one of the only acceptable reasons to shout in public
