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Zero Star Reviews
@ZeroStarReviews
Chronicling critical misses throughout history. DM suggestions. Alter ego of @Schneider_CM Read more here: christianschneiderblog.com/2021/04/14/ze
Joined December 2020
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    Welcome to Zero Star Reviews - your home for the worst critic reviews of all time. DM me with requests. And SMASH that FOLLOW button!
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    Replying to @ZeroStarReviews
    (Editor's note: I can name a dozen "hot women" who have been on #SNL just off the top of my head.)
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    PIZZA (1860): 160 years ago, a London-based reporter went to Naples and reported back on an odd local delicacy called "pizza." "It is not considered good, nor will those by whom it is made ever succeed in turning it out good..." The Morning Post, Dec. 17, 1860
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    “Am I the only person who has noticed that SNL has never hired a ‘hot woman?’”
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    JEOPARDY! (1984): "The new 'Jeopardy' is a disgrace. It may get ratings, but it deserves no respect....[Trebek] used to host 'High Rollers,' which should have been a tip-off that the new 'Jeopardy' would be a joke...a pitiful echo of its former self." Des Moines Register, 9/23/84
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    DIE HARD (1988): “With a movie like this, once you start picking out the loopholes - and there are a lot of them - it doesn’t matter how good the stunts or the special effects are, or even how good Bruce Willis is - you just can’t stay interested.” - Roger Ebert
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    THE SOPRANOS (1999): "The Godfather made the phrase 'sleeps with the fishes' famous. The Sopranos makes 'sleeps with the TV set on' a probability...a gangster's midlife crisis is a weak, unpalatable premise for a series. The Sopranos makes an offer you can refuse." OrSent 1/10/99
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    RUMOURS - Fleetwood Mac (1977): "A pleasant but unremarkable album that follows the light-weight rock vein of its triumphant predecessor...There are no gems here like Rihannon, Over My Head, and Say You Love Me, the three huge hits on 'Fleetwood Mac' - Mpls Star Trib Feb 25, 1977
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    MARLON BRANDO AS DON CORLEONE (1971): "A silly choice...Brando is a white Anglo-Saxon midwesterner, age 47. The Godfather in the script ages from 54 to 67...his recent films have been [sic] artistic and financial flop." Hasn't won an Oscar since 1954. Deseret News, Feb 1, 1971
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    HARRY POTTER (2000): "Not really children's literature, it's just slop...it's a period piece...in five or six years...they will be of interest to sociologists - the people who read them will not be able to remember what they read." Harold Bloom, Charlie Rose Show, July 11, 2000
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    BILL RUSSELL (1956): "In addition quite a few observers who have seen Russell feel he may not make the grade in the rugged NBA as they rate him a very poor shooter and further hold that his defensive ability will not make up for his lack of scoring." Boston Globe 11/2/56 R.I.P.