This Notre Dame Fire turned into people bragging about their vacations to Paris very quickly
Whitney Cummings
6,395 posts
Whitney Cummings
@WhitneyCummings
2 specials now streaming on Netflix, one on HBO, a couple now on YouTube. New BIG BABY tour dates on sale at WhitneyCummings.com. Good For You podcast.
- you're totally allowed to say "I actually don't know enough about that issue to have an opinion"
- I mean please list the lies I told?NEW: Anderson Cooper stands completely speechless after Whitney Cummings says Dems couldn’t hold a primary because they were too busy holding up a dead body. “It was amazing that the Pro-Choice Party didn't give their voters one…”
- I’m hearing a lot of “so men are just supposed to be scared of women now?” I mean, if that’s what needs to happen for you to be cool to us, maybe. We’ve been scared of you for like six thousand years. You’ll get used to it after a while.
- If you’re offended by jokes I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to cope with facts
- I am not watching the Golden Globes live but based on how pissed off everyone is my guess is that Ricky Gervais wrote and performed actual jokes
- You are not a hypocrite if you change your mind after getting new information
- If you are happy someone was publicly executed because they don’t share your beliefs congrats you’re the Taliban
- if the second I text you back, you call me because you know I'm holding my phone, I will call the police.
- this is what I said at the end of my roast set on CNN tonight that I zoomed through beacause I was running out of time (and scared) : Since I only have a minute left and I’m live on an establishment media, I figured I’d list some of things mainstream media will never cover:
- Hey everyone you can reveal your babies gender with a mass textPlane crashes after unloading 350 gallons of pink water in gender reveal stunt trib.al/DKggsV9
- Now I'm getting threatened with "we have access to your iCloud." I'll be honest, I stand by most of my nudes. Frankly I'm way more embarrassed by all the inspirational quotes I've screen grabbed.
- When you call a woman “a lot” there’s a strong chance you may just be a little
- Don’t look to why so many people trust joe Rogan, look to why so few people trust the mainstream media
