If some misfortune should befall me in the near future, it will most likely have something to do with my ex-girlfriend Kelly Morgan Simmers having faked her death and it will involve Jews.
Because you are making a pretty goddamn bold claim.
You claim that someone “turned you gay” and yet you say you have no memory of ever being straight. So how do you know he turned you gay. Maybe he just figured out you were gay before you did.