Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He didn’t want to.
Fancied a quiet night in.
Sometimes that’s all you need.
Little night to yourself.
Bit of self care.
Good for him.
Hazel Hayes
42.8K posts
Hazel Hayes
@TheHazelHayes
bisexual, bicontinental, adorably unhinged author of ‘Out of Love’ and ‘Better by Far’
- All this shit with @LoganPaul just reminded me that when I worked for YouTube I had the power to delete entire channels... Shame.
- It’s just. Half the country can barely afford to feed and heat themselves this winter. And we’re about to spend an obnoxious amount of taxpayer’s money on the pomp and ceremony of burying one monarch and anointing another. And that’s really fucking sad.
- We got all dolled up to drink cocktails on the balcony and pretend we were at a swanky event. When I woke up with a hangover and saw my dress and high heels flung on the floor it truly tricked my brain into thinking I’d had a night out! 10/10 would recommend. Photoshoot optional.
- Dodie ate something called Dole Whip at Disney. She tried to recreate it today using frozen pineapples and coconut milk. I was forced to watch this all play out, and to hear her running commentary on everything from our broken can opener to how disgusting the end product was.
- Don’t rape people then? I guess?Harvey Weinstein’s lawyers say he’ll die behind bars if sentenced to more than five years trib.al/crSk3xz
- I spent today directing a music video for this beautiful, talented woman, who bares her soul in her songs and uses music to remind us we are not alone in whatever we are feeling. It’s an honour to get to share this with you, Dodes. Thank you for trusting me with your baby 😊
- Just to be clear. This British man. Asked this Irish woman. To apologise for singing a song with references to the IRA. And then questioned whether WE need more education on OUR OWN FUCKING HISTORY? Ask me arse ye prick.The Ireland women's team apologise for singing a song referencing the IRA following their world cup qualification win against Scotland last night.
00:00 - It’s comforting to know that when Paul Rudd presents me with my Oscar in twenty years time, he’ll look the exact same as he does tonight.
- I’ve made some people very very angry by saying that *checks notes* taxpayers’ money would be better spent feeding the poor than funding unnecessarily extravagant state events.
00:10Leceister square currently:- A text message every depressed person secretly wants to receive… Hey. Just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and I care about you. No pressure to reply. But if you do wanna talk, I’m here. Or we could just hang out without talking about big stuff. I’ll check in again soon x
- My new favourite thing to do is tell people that I broke my leg doing ballet in the Royal Albert Hall. And when they inevitably ask if I’m a professional dancer, I just stare off into the middle distance and say, “Not anymore.”
