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Mildly thrilled to announce my new book: A Very British Midlife Crisis - A Survival Guide to the Best Years of Your Life (by me, Rob Temple, creator of Very British Problems). Out in Autumn but available to pre-order now.
VeryBritishProblems
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VeryBritishProblems
@SoVeryBritish
New book: A Very British Christmas, out October 2025. For everything VBP, visit: linktr.ee/verybritishpro… Written by @RobTemple101
- Me in my 20s sleeping at a friend’s house: “Don’t worry that you haven’t got a spare bed, I will sleep on the kitchen floor or in the bath or folded into a cupboard or in the big bush outside your front door” Me now I’m 40: “Thank you for the offer of a spare bed, but I’m going
- March is no longer a month, it has been reclassified as an era
- How to really enjoy the rain: 1. Stand at the window (inside) 2. Put non-tea drinking hand on hip 3. Sip tea from mug 4. Mutter “look at that rain”, “it’s really coming down now” or “the garden needs it” 5. Say “good job we got the cushions/washing in” 6. Eat all the biscuits
- More two-word horror stories: Eye contact Lunch meeting Surprise party Planned engineering Sing along Conference call Signal failure They’re here Team building Low carb Record highs Unexpected item You busy? Quick word Friend request Leg day Your parcel Tax return Happy birthday
- Things that mean "no": -Yeah, could do -I'm easy really -Well, yes and no -We'll see -Maybe -If that's what you fancy -I'll see how I feel
- If you’ve just entered a building without saying “bloody freezing out there”, you’ve done it wrong. Go out and do it again
- "Give them a ring" "I've emailed" "Be quicker to ring" "I've sent a text as well" "Just ring them" "I'll send another email"
- “No no, you keep in the middle of the path, it makes more sense that I fold myself into this hedge”
- Shoutout to everyone who likes to seal a packet of biscuits by simply pushing the open end up against a wall.
- Brit 1: “What do you fancy doing?” Brit 2: “I don’t mind, what do you fancy?” Brit 1: “Whatever you fancy” Brit 2: “I honestly don’t mind” Brit 1: “You choose” Brit 2: “I always choose” Brit 1: “No you don’t” Brit 2: “It’s your turn” Brit 1: “Anyway, have a think”
- Yesterday: Eat 50,000 calories Today: Brisk walk That’ll sort it
