Really hope Web 4.0 is just gonna be everyone shutting the fuck up.
Shit User Story
648 posts
Shit User Story
@ShitUserStory
The internet nobody asked for.
Joined January 2021
- As a... – mechanical keyboard user I want to... – type louder so that... – people know I have a mechanical keyboard
- As a... – user I want to... – have paste disabled on a password field So that... – the form feels secure
- As a... – Twitter user I want to... – have the timeline refresh a couple of seconds after opening the app So that... – the tweet I am half-way through reading is replaced with a more relevant, promoted tweet.
- As an... – excel user I want to... – have fractions automatically converted to dates so that... – I can spend 01-Oct of my day manually changing them back
- As a… – remote worker I want to… – give facebook access to four cameras strapped to my head so that… – I can simulate an in-person meeting that could have been an email
- As a... – mobile app user I want to... – open all links in a dedicated in-app browser, which lacks features like saved logins, bookmarks, tabs, find in page, or a URL field, with a self-destruct close button where I expect the back button to be so that... – I remain in the app
- As a… – Crypto bro I want to… – tell everyone we are taking back control from the evil wealth-driven ultra-rich so that… – I too may become ultra-rich
- As a… – user I want to… – prove I am not a robot by training a robot to become less like a robot so that… – the more I train the robot, the more fucking painful it gradually becomes to prove that I am not a robot
- As a YouTube mobile user I want to be offered a free trial of YouTube Premium each time I open the app so that I can have the convenience of opting in at any time in case I ever change my mind
- As a… – Netflix user I want… – searches to autocomplete so that… – I can easily find movies that are unavailable
- As a... – website visitor I want to... – be blocked from entering the website So that... – I can enjoy a better experience with the native app
- As a... – Telegram user I want to... – be notified when anyone in my contacts joins So that... – my inbox is filled with messages informing me that my ex-girlfriend, my old landlord, the guy who bought my playstation 3, and “Dave Plumber” are available to chat
