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Robby Slowik
@RobbySlowik
Stand-Up Comic, TV Writer, and Podcast host just like everyone else on this website.
New York, NY
Joined March 2011
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    Hi folks, this is my Conan set from last night. I’m proud of it and I hope you like it.
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    The last thing the world wants right now is raw, unsanitized bat.
    Pattinson’s 'Batman’ Will Be ‘So Raw’ and ‘Not Sanitized,’ Says Cast Member Peter Sarsgaard bit.ly/31z7Ndz
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    Bittersweet announcement but after an amazing 2 years as an infectious disease expert I am moving on. I am now an expert in no-fly zones and Eastern European affairs. Excited to make the most of this new opportunity.
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    I say give them both a Roku remote and the first one to start a movie gets to be president
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    Me texting Kamala back on Wednesday: “OMG sorry JUST saw these. Do you still need thirty dollars?”
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    The girl from the chess show? Good luck.
    Aaron Taylor-Johnson has reportedly been offered the role of James Bond. (people.com/james-bond-aar…)
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    *Neil deGrasse Tyson angrily walking out of A Star is Born*
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    Truly weird to wake up in America and be like "What hath the council of six decreed today?"
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    Person: I can’t afford a house America: You are under arrest
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    The PR work TV has done for cops is wild. SVU would have you believe there's a dedicated team of professionals committed to investigating every rape and not just two dudes with punisher tattoos being like "sounds like a misunderstanding"
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    Shout out to my girlfriend, my rock, the love of my life, for getting published in Cosmo! Can't wait to read it!
    I've Cheated on Every Boyfriend I've Ever Had, and I Don't Regret It csmo.us/bnZ1T28
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    Lin-Manuel Miranda angrily crumpling up his convention rap and starting over
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    This is one of those movies where an uptight adult's childhood imaginary friend reappears and wreaks havoc but also reminds them to loosen up.
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    I just know this will somehow lead to an email where Nancy Pelosi asks me for $15