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RandomSprint🧭
34.8K posts
Husband. Father. Sentient paperclip.
Joined October 2021
- I taught my kids three jokes. They started "making their own" and sharing them with everyone. The next day, my son asked me, "What does it mean if someone says, 'I don't get it?'"3yo has started telling us jokes they're terrible
- I told my son how internal combustion engines work, and he thought I was joking.
- Replying to @RandomSprintThe best one is a two-parter. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Why? "To get to the silly person's house." Oh, okay. "Knock knock!" Who's there? "The chicken!"
- My 4 yo son, walking into my office, "Are you still working?" "Yeah, bud." "How many more buttons do you have to press?"
- Person who just retired: "If you think about it, taxing income is more fair than taxing property."
- Apparently, it's my job to train the summer interns. There are four college students and what is clearly our 58 year old CEO with dye to hide his hair color. What should I do?
- In my 20s: I would never lie to my kids. They will be strong enough to see the world as it is. In my 30s: That's called Paw Patrol. They only have it at the barber. You can watch it again the next time you get a haircut.
- I wonder how much of every, "Ozempic also fixes X!" finding is just "Not being overweight also fixes X!" with an extra step.
- I genuinely don't know what field to encourage my kids to study. Programming, law, accounting, I keep telling them about career options that were open to me, but a part of me feels sad as I do. Will any white collar paths let a young person add value in a decade?
- Google rots from the bottom up. "I need to work on a new program to get promoted," so old programs are abandoned. Microsoft rots from the top down. Last week, the person in charge of Teams Channels noticed no one saw his notifications, so they moved channel and chat notifs.Watching apple software get noticeably worse and no one there seems capable of fixing it
- My two part emotional hack for moving: 1. Imagine a fire burned down your old place. 2. Imagine the old place is a store where everything is free.So fun. How can anyone not love moving
- Your kid is going to kindergarten? Make sure you install the class schedule app, the report card app, the district ISD app, the bus schedule app, and school lunch app. The school app doesn't allow you buy lunch. That actually comes from the district ISD app, which has MFA. Now in







