Pinned
Eating my banana like it’s corn so I don’t get called to HR.
Diana
23.9K posts
Diana
@PracticalBedlam
A Canadian. A sensitive mouthpiece. A clever dumbass. An ally always.
Joined November 2020
- If this doesn’t put it in perspective for you, nothing will.
00:00 - Betty White dying is the ultimate fuck you ending to this godforsaken year.
- A superintendent insinuated raping me as punishment for an issue on a jobsite today. RAPING me. For a hiccup in his schedule that I didn’t actually cause. What. The. Fuck.
- I’ve been getting a weird influx of a certain…type of follower lately, so I just want to clarify that I am a tattooed, pierced, dyed, divorced, strong-willed, sailor-mouthed, lgbtqia-allied, BLM-supporting, atheist, bleeding heart liberal. Please unfollow accordingly.
- My dad told me to quit my job and move home for the summer and he’d pay me to do work on his house. His selling points: “We’ll eat good food and drink good wine and go fishing every day.” I mean, YES.
- There's a guy here to do a sales presentation and he's referred to women as both "chicks" and "old ladies" so far in the 30 minutes he's been here. He's also winked at me twice and thanked me for "dressing up." 100% never ordering his product.
- I had an ectopic pregnancy in my 20s. It burst and I very nearly died. My ex’s aunt, a very vocal “christian,” announced at a family barbecue that I must have deserved it, because god only punished the wicked. My ex said nothing. 16 years later I still think about that.
- I’m about to take my dog for a walk accompanied by a cider poured into a plastic McDonald’s cup. Classy like.
- If you can’t accept seeing me in my underwear at some point, you can’t be my neighbour.
- I'm only 9,513 followers away from 10k!
- My biggest self confidence issues are about my body and the way I look, but every year I like the way I'm built a little more, and this Valentine's Day is just about loving myself.
- Three 14 y/os in my house. A Canadian, American, and Iraqi. Two trans boys and my gay daughter. They’re discussing racism and xenophobia and homophobia while they paint, and it’s incredible to listen to. They’re so logical and intelligent. I am ridiculously proud of all of them.
- Buying groceries today I interacted with the same stranger THRICE, and the final time (when he was behind me in line to pay), he challenged me to a "Bumper car style cart challenge, set to Destroy," AND asked me if I had plans for Valentine's day. This is my actual life.