mike
19.5K posts
mike
@MikeBorses
ever read a fortune cookie fortune? yeah. I probably wrote that.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined July 2017
- Replying to @SomaKazimaGuess the only person who ended up eating was the manager
- ok... so a very hot guy tapped me on Grindr, I said hi, he started being silly and playful. My profile says "hey nerds," so he was calling me a nerd, v cute. Then he asks if I want to see a poem. It was so bad I ended up talking to him like a kindergarten teacher! Idk what to say
- If you had told me in December 2022 that this was going to be the final boss of 2023 I would have said “yeah ok, that makes sense.”
- I had this big football player, I think he was pro or college player I don’t recall, sit on my face, almost suffocated. This man was so thicc, I remember initially trying to wrap my arms around his thighs to draw him in closer… but his thighs were too thick. He still texts me.told him to sit on my face and I ALMOST SUFFOCATED never again just bent ova instead
00:00 - Because RN means registered nurse
why do I always read this as a horny nurse 😩😩😩 - Bottoms will say “in my top era” and it’s because they have a fissure
- Ok I’m gonna start saving now for my facelift.I’m impressed again
- Oh wow. I’ve officially reached that stage in my bottoming career where my farts just kind hiss instead of making a fart noise.
- You’d be shocked at the number of people who think FF means friends first.Not this 😭😭
