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Michael Baumann
@MichaelBaumann
Wheelysports cycling newsletter // Right-handed bench bat @FanGraphs // Gamecock. Piney. (he/him) // Tips/Inquiries: baumannwrites at gmail dot com
South Jersey
Joined November 2009
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    Fine I guess I'll get on the goddamn lifeboat
    @baumann.bsky.social
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    Saying "whoa whoa it was just a joke" when it seems like asshole actions might result in real consequences is the ultimate chickenshit move
    "I can see exactly why Jimmy Kimmel felt the way he felt, especially with his position. But I think Aaron was just trying to talk shit." Pat McAfee opens his show by responding to the fallout and threats of legal action coming out of his Tuesday interview with Aaron Rodgers
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    The big story here is we've found two 90s ballplayers who *won't* get an injection
    Replying to @AndrewMarchand
    NEWS: John Smoltz & Al Leiter will not appear in-studio for MLBN after refusing to receive COVID-19 vaccine, The Post has learned. nypost.com/2021/08/31/al-โ€ฆ
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    As long as you're not on public roads it should be legal to shoot fireworks at a Lamborghini
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    I'm mad about the Fanatics MLB jerseys because it's the lowest-stakes example of the thing that's sending me over the edge: An everyday thing is getting worse. Everyone knows it and hates it. It's one guy's fault and we know who it is, but there's nothing we can do to stop it.
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    I agree that there are only six jokes being made about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, but the one about Swifties learning and solving football in less than a week is nowhere close to played out imo. That joke has legs like you wouldn't believe.
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    The wildest thing to me is that in 55 years of covering the Mets the New York Times had never broken out the word "shithole" until now.
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    Ways to do sports, ranked: 1) Win and talk shit the entire time 2) Win and don't talk shit 3) Lose and don't talk shit 4) Lose and talk shit.
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    Why would Tatis risk taking Clostebol when he was so closte*playing*bol
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    It's a shame hockey isn't more popular because Tony DeAngelo rage quitting Twitter and moving to Parler because of the Trump ban is so funny I can't handle it.
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    Ranger Suรกrez pitches like he's got a flight to catch and fields like he's at the beach.
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    Great call. Scully tribute into a pithy line that invoked the historical antecedent we were all thinking of, then immediately hitting Smoltz with a chloroform rag so he couldn't talk over the moment.
    FREDDIE FREEMAN WALK-OFF GRAND SLAM IN GAME 1 OF THE WORLD SERIES! Joe Davis on the call for Fox. โšพ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŽ™๏ธ #MLB
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    MLB
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    So if you're a baseball fan with a soul you're rooting for the Yankees and Red Sox to lose, Mariners and Blue Jays to win. Which should be easy to remember because if you have a soul that's probably what you root for every day.
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    Don't revive The Office. Make the next The Office.