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James Theo
@JamesTheo
English teacher with a messy desk
Hampshire, UK
Joined November 2009
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    Replying to @DannyWArmstrong
    Maybe you could take this opportunity to switch to a new career – have you thought about trying journalism?
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    75% of thank you cards given to English teachers: "I couldn't of passed english without you"
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    Receiving a thank you card is always a double-edged sword for an English teacher. It’s so bittersweet to read, “thanks for teaching me english your a great teacher”.
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    Advice for NQTs: 20. Most 19. Unsolicited 18. Advice 17. Is 16. Just 15. Overwhelming 14. Noise 13. Right 12. Now 11. So 10. Mostly 9. Ignore 8. It 7. And 6. Listen 5. To 4. Your 3. Mentor 2. Instead 1. Never lend your glue sticks outside of your class
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    Year 9 pupil: sir my pen’s exploded Me: pens don’t just explode King Charles:
    00:00
    CBS News
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    I have a pitch for a TV show: producers trawl social media for people calling teachers “lazy”, etc., then ask them to spend 4 weeks teaching in a school, where they film them. Make sure they have to do all the daily stuff: teaching full days, planning, duties, cover lessons, etc.
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    This weekend, up and down the country teachers are in supermarkets buying healthy foods for all of their super-healthy lunches for their new healthy eating regime next week. Next Friday evening, takeaways up and down the country will experience an unexpected upsurge in business.
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    Cheat days allowed for teachers on healthy eating kicks: • Friday (obviously) • A day with a parents evening • A day with a meeting • Monday (you have to ease into the week) • If you’ve had a bad day • Wednesday (midweek treat day) • And weekends don’t count anyway
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    Is it the time between pupils sitting an exam and them asking if I've marked it yet?
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    This year is like a pupil’s story where they write a long build up of terrible events & then realise they have only a short time left to resolve everything: “And then Corbyn was thrown out of the party, Trump was voted out, we got a vaccine, and Cummings left No. 10. The end.”
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    I’ve just noticed that these are called dip dabs. For my entire life I’ve thought they were called dib dabs. My world is collapsing around me.
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    They should have got teachers managing that queue. We'd have brought all our lunch duty skills to have everyone in and out by now.
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    An #NQTtip I often see is about being friendly with cleaners, etc. because they'll help you when you need it or forgive your mess. I find this a tad cynical. Be friendly with cleaners, not for an end that benefits you, but because they are people – people who you work alongside.
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    If I was a recruiter in any industry, I’d be headhunting teachers. I’ve worked in a few industries and I’ve never known people who will give so much of themselves for so long.