Posts
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    me on wikipedia finding out that an indie artist has famous parents
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    when the pharmacist asks your date of birth and today is your date of birth
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    i don’t have “plans for the 4th” i’m not a fucking republican
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    why is ending a bath so awkward........like ok i guess i'm done now time to stand up
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    my mom to my sister: you don’t want to end up like your sister over there me over there:
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    the olay body wash at CVS has better security
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    me as a detective: ok wait omg
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    baking when u live alone is like ok i had my fun now what do i do with 28 cookies
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    this is how i feel when i eat oatmeal
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    republicans: fuck the poor democrats: fuck the poor. she/her/hers
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    my reps have advised me to remain silent xx
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    trader joe’s cashier: have a good day me: love you too
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    hillary ur man is roaming again
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    me: yes i’m sexually active the dentist: i didn’t ask