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Isaac Fitzgerald
@IsaacFitzgerald
📚 NYT bestselling author of Dirtbag, Massachusetts 🍎 Next up: American Rambler—5/12/26 (@aaknopf) 📺 Talking books on the @todayshow
North Fork of Long Island
Joined February 2009
Posts
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    Mainly here to promote my books these days—not much else. If you want my jokes/theories/dumb drinking stories, come find me in person. Always happy to talk. I'll buy you a beer. American Rambler is out May 12, 2026. ⭐️ Kirkus ⭐️ Publishers Weekly Some great blurbs, too. 🥾🌳🍎
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    Walked into the bodega and asked if they sold butter. “Sorry, no,” but then a pause, “How much do you need? Just cooking dinner?” Love you, New York City.
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    $1,200. That’s all folks were given. This whole, catastrophic year.
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    Boat falls onto highway in Florida, blocks traffic bit.ly/3rrS1MV
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    I can’t explain it but the energy lately is “everyone is losing it” in a way we haven’t seen since 2020.
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    Somewhere out there, a child is free.
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    00:00
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    A woman on the street just yelled “SHIT!!!” then looked up from her phone and said “that wasn’t directed at you. It’s just, the Supreme Court..." and a woman standing next to her simply nodded.
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    At @barbiethemovie I saw a group of teens clowning on their friend who arrived late because he was dressed in an all-gray sweatsuit and they were all wearing pink but then the delayed pal lifted up his sweatshirt to reveal a pink t-shirt underneath and the whole crew went WILD.
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    Me ordering a bottle of wine with lunch.
    If France can do it we can do it.
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    Last night I overheard two twenty-somethings having a very deep, very earnest conversation. At a certain point the young woman turned to the young man and asked, “So, do you go to therapy?” The young man pointed at his skateboard and said, “That’s my therapy.” My guy. So close.
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    Cops, which has been on television for 33 seasons since 1989, has been cancelled. hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/cops…
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    "Alexa, show me the best way to die." Alexa:
    00:00
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    Okay who has tips for motivating yourself to clean your apartment