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bennett
@ImagineAGuy
reliable narrator
New York
Joined January 2022
Posts
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    guy who only knew jesus professionally: Honey, did you hear they CRUCIFIED our CARPENTER???
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    pro-life kid i went to high school with in my insta dms
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    you’re in her dms but she’s in my bed and we’re taking online quizzes in order to figure out if either of us have autism
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    Met the coolest guy at the bar
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    i think all men sincerely believe they could safely land a commercial airliner in an emergency situation with only air traffic control to walk them through it
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    chernobyl killed more than 31 people cmon man
    Chernobyl killed just 31 ppl thx to competent disaster management. A far more appropriate (but less ideologically convenient) comparison is India’s Bhopal Disaster, which claimed 4-16k lives when US company Union Carbide ignored safety procedures and poisoned an entire city. 🧵
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    if you really think about it making a woman cum is a lot like the lockpicking minigame in skyrim
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    every mid-size midwestern city has one of these personal injury barons. they represent the soul of the city just as much as any of the sports teams do
    I’d love for people outside of Cleveland to guess what these billboards are for
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    awesome that the iphone now has a “broke up with your gf” button
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    this one was a banger
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    genuinely one of the greatest one-two punch tweets of all time
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    Replying to @ImagineAGuy
    Guess that deck's never getting finished!