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ian karmel
@IanKarmel
Calmer than you are.
Portland/Los Angeles
Joined August 2010
Posts
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    A little ten minute preview from my new special "Comfort Beyond God's Foresight." If you like that, you can get the rest here: 800pgm.lnk.to/foresight youtube.com/watch?v=Vb9MI0…
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    We have, for too long, shackled the bakery to the morning. Night bakeries. Fresh croissants at 11pm. It is possible.
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    Every gift guide for men is like "A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey."
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    Every year I send my grandmother a very small statue of Hitler so she doesn't forget she survived the Holocaust. It's not fun for either one of us, but it's literally the only way.
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    They just wanted to steal a car, but they ended up... stealing each others hearts. This summer, Jim Carrey and Jenna Fischer get a crash course in love. "Jacked and Jill" - It's a fender bender to remember.
    Oregon man driving stolen car crashes into woman driving another stolen car trib.al/jG4gDni
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    I lost 180 pounds by eating less, eating better and working out and let me just say this... CHEAT. Fucking cheat. The modern world is a riptide dragging you towards heart disease and diabetes, if you need a lifeboat, get a fucking lifeboat, there is no shame whatsoever at all.
    I can't believe we essentially cured obesity and people sneer at it like it's cheating.
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    Do you poop or pee at work? Efficiency analysts call it “Quiet Shitting” and this millennial trend is devastating the economy.
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    Yesterday Prince Charles owned zero swans and today he owns all the swans in England. Really makes you think.
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    when this mf show up in a movie you know a scheme afoot
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    I do not post political stuff anymore, but as a former football player, I have to speak out. All coaches are coach. Coordinators are coach. Position coaches are coach. I didn't call the guy who taught me how to pass block "Assistant Coach Cooke."
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    What if Kareem ripped off that jacket, revealing a Thunder jersey, and went and got the record back?
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    Listen, I'm a huge Ducks fan, I'm born and raised in Oregon. We don't want to go down this road with a midwest school. There's a certain kind of alcoholism that is only possible when you know you might never see the ocean.
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    THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO ROOT FOR STEPHEN CURRY????? I CAN FLY
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    20 year olds are out here with baby pictures that just look like a current picture of a baby and not like a grainy still from a true crime documentary like the rest of us.